Transforming Shoulds and Coulds

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your shoulds and coulds

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.


2. Delve into the shoulds and coulds

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car



3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components.


4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about.

For Example:

I should have said  ..... instead of ......
I could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)


Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.

Look Elsewhere

What does looking elsewhere have to do with transition? Sometimes we focus too much on inner selves that we neglect to take a good look at the environment and people around us.

Here is a reminder:


Look at People
Who are the people who make your day special? They can be your family members, friends, neighbors and of course your pets. People can also be the providers of service we routinely count on. By focusing on them instead of our "self" we can change our attitude, learn new things and move forward.   

Look at Places
Take some time to observe where you are. Look at the buildings, trees and sky. Our visual senses can bring us great relief from every day sameness. Look with new "eyes" and really see where you are. 



Look at Things
Spend some time looking at your surroundings with deeper vision. Really look at the mug on your desk. Observe the stapler. Contemplate your phone. When we look with intent we often see things in a brand new light.


Looking elsewhere is one of the ways to make a transition in your thoughts, attitude and  mindset.

Another method is by listening. You may find this previous post about sound helpful. Stillness and Silence.


Let me know how some of these exercises go in transitioning your mind.

Transition Your Thinking

Your thinking determines your mood, attitude and your choices. How are you thinking today?


Cloudy or Clear Thinking

Thinking Outside the Box

Bottom Up Vs. Top Down

Non Thinking as a Strategy

Under thinking

Over thinking


For more thoughts on thinking visit Terry's Thinking - A blog about thinking.

Being Positive in a Negative World

It is hard to stay positive when we are filled with negativity. Recently I've noticed more negative conversations around the world's water coolers. How can we remain or become positive?

Choose Positive Media and Messages
Avoid watching too much daily television news. Look instead at situational comedies. Seek out positive television shows or series. Stop watching so much television and read an uplifting book instead.

Smile more
Individuals who smile are more likely to be received in a positive light. In others words, we get what we give.

Be Positive where you can
Say thank you, your welcome and really mean it . Work on your inflections.

Appreciate and Play with your Pets
Pet's are great stress relievers. Spend some time watching or hanging out with them.


Realize you can't necessarily change the world but you can change yourself and your attitude.