Tuesday, August 9, 2022

Should and Could's - let's think about this!

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your should's and could's 

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.


2. Delve into the should's and could's

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car 



3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components. 


4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about. 

For Example:

should have said  ..... instead of ......
could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)


Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.


This is a best of post from 2009.

Sunday, July 10, 2022

Measuring Your Progress

There are times when you need to measure your progress on your journey. You can do this at certain points of times during every transition. Here are some suggested time and then some questions for you to ask yourself.  The potential times to do this are:


Four months after a move
Two months after graduating college
Three months into a new job
Two months after retiring
One year after the loss of a loved one
Six months after getting married


What has been accomplished? 

What is there left to do? 

What has been learned? 

How have you changed?

How are things different than you expected?

What do you know now that you did not know then about yourself? (Example: You are skilled in packing fragile items)


Reviewing and reflecting can help you get a fresh perspective and grasp of where you are and what you have accomplished. I encourage you to take some time to size things up. It can be revitalizing and give you some more energy to move forward.

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

More or Less - Setting your Resolutions for 2021

It is almost the official time of year when we work on setting resolutions.

Here is an easy way to get started on your resolutions for 2021. What can you do more of in 2021? What can you do less of?  

The More

Smile More
Laugh More
Walk More
Drink More Water
Appreciate More
Read More
Write More
Listen More

The Less 

Eat Less
Swear Less
Worry Less
Frown Less
Complain Less
Procrastinate Less
Talk Less

Do you want to make more progress in 2021? It may be a perfect time to start working with a transition coach to help you get more from your life in 2021.

Friday, October 16, 2020

Notice Now to Make Changes

Sometimes we want to make changes but we are not quite ready. A technique that can help you in this process is "noticing".

Notice when you are doing the habit or behavior that you want to change. By noticing we can gather all sorts of data and information that will help us make potential steps towards the change.

For instance: take the habit of oversleeping. Take note of the days you tend to do this? What type of activities do you have planned on that day? Does the planned anxiety of the day cause you stress and start the oversleeping process? Do you start sabotaging your sleep by staying up late, eating foods that cause you indigestion?

Noticing is a great tool for making changes. What can you notice?

Monday, April 27, 2020

Why Now?


Have you ever reached the point when you say to yourself "Why Now"? I am at that point, life was beginning to go smoothly then all hell broke loose - So now I (and most likely you too) need to make another transition. Maybe, in fact, we are all at that point with the Covid-19 Pandemic.

Transitions are not easy. They seem to come just when you think you have everything all set. Why is this, I ask you dear reader? "Why now"?

The answer is not why now, but maybe "why not"? Let's face this transition with some grace and positive forward movement. Let's go with Why not! Let's look at this time as time to make some changes.  Change takes courage and begins with little steps.


Tuesday, November 19, 2019

The New Decade Aproaches - Time for Some Reflection

Its almost 2020, the start of a new decade. Now is a perfect time to make changes and move forward. Before we jump forward into something new, it usually helps to look back.

Here are some positive focused questions to think about. Think of each of the questions in terms of the last ten years and your experiences.


Decade Reflection Questions

What worked over the last ten years?

What are you most happy about having achieved, managed or maintained?

What were some of the best conversations you had?

What were some of the best books you read?

What were some of the best movies, plays or museum or art exhibits you experienced?

What new things or skills did you learn?

Who did you enjoy meeting, being with and spending time with?

Where were you most environmentally comfortable?

Bonus Questions - How did your senses experience the last decade?



Evaluating the Answers

When we look back we can sometimes glean patterns, or glimmers of thing that excite us. When we know what makes us want to get up and fully enjoy the day we can start shaping our lives to have more of this excitement. By reviewing your Decade Questions you may be able to move forward with a clearer sense of what will work for you and help you thrive in the next decade.

Monday, July 22, 2019

What's Most Important to You?

Do you take time out to think about what is most important to you? Do you take life as it comes or do you make life what you want it to be? There may be no right or wrong answers to these two questions, however those who fail to plan, often find their life results less than they desire.

I have found taking “formal planned  time” to focus on what is most important to you is key to creating the life you want.Taking time out from your day-to-day activities can be tricky and complicated, especially if you lead a busy life. However, if you are a busy person, then taking time out is as easy as making an appointment or two with yourself. A few hours will likely be enough for you to create a clearer understanding of where you want to go.

Individuals who are focused can pre-plan their “future vision session” .  They can do this by creating a list of questions to consider during the session.  This will allow a more focused and directed time. However, if you are a person who has trouble focusing, working with a life coach for a few sessions might be the key to creating the life you want. The life coach can help you by asking great questions, and then you can find your own answers.

Terry now provides life coaching services. Check out her website for more details.