Moving On

I recently came across a little paperback version of the book After The Move, Growing Roots in a New Community  by Judith Lechman.  This book published  by Lion in 1990 stands the test of time.

As someone who has moved over 20 times in my life, it really resonated about the mental aspects of moving. Moving requires physical strength and tenacity, but to me the most difficult part about moving is the mental part.

Judith's book discuses what she calls the 4 D's of moving. They are Being Disorientation, Being Disorganization, Being Discouraged and Being Disconnected.

Moving into a new home, creates disorientation. We have to learn a new floor plan, find new providers of services such as grocery stores, pharmacy and medical providers. All these are in locations unfamiliar to us, which means we have to learn how to get to and from our new home to theses new places.

When we move into a new home or apartment, we have to store our things usually in different places. This creates disorganization. Knowing that we have silverware is one thing, but knowing and familiarizing ourselves with the storage location is another.

Moving can be discouraging. We have to commit hours of unpacking and organizing of our stuff. We have to adjust to our new job, or community. Judith suggests we don't look at the whole picture, instead focus on one chore at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow, just focus on what needs to be done today.

When we move to a new community we are immediately disconnected. "Moving can be painfully lonely. It cuts us off from our past, isolates us from the present, and detaches us from the future." While this feeling is normal, we need to start to reach out within our new unity to expand our friendships and broaden our experiences. This happens best when we approach it with a positive attitude.

So if you are about to move, or have just moved. Take heart in understanding the "4 D's" and you will soon be feeling more at home in your new community.

 

Traffic Light Thinking

The traffic light is a great metaphor for reviewing where you are in terms of  creativity or project development. 

Creativity – Everyone is creative in their own way. You can look at your personal or professional creatively in terms of the traffic light. Are you being creative and flowing, as in being in the green light? Or are you in a cautionary or transitional phase as in yellow. Maybe you are at a stopping point and are at the red light waiting for time or inspiration. Again the secret is to be aware and clear on where you are in terms of the traffic light.

Project Development – Are you at a standstill? Have you come to a red light? Did you hit a full stop?  Are you at a transitional time when you are in caution mode? Are you in the flow with the green light going full speed ahead? Knowing where you are on a project, in terms of the traffic light,  is a helpful tool for monitoring your activity and progress.

Where you are at the traffic light is a great tool for understanding your productivity and creative status. Green may be good, but too much green may be exhausting and unhealthy.  A long time at yellow may mean you are in a transition and may need to try other things. This could include seek help from others such as a coach or make some required changes. Being in the red may be frustrating, but it can also be the well-needed rest. Red can also be the warning sign to make some changes

Try using the traffic light metaphor in measuring or examining some of your projects or activities. Let me know what you think.

This is a post from my blog Terry's Thinking 

A Decade of Blogging

How can it be ten years since I first started blogging? Where did the time go? What have I learned? What should I have learned? What is next?

I started my blog in 2007 as a holding place for my thoughts on transitions.

This Site is for testing ideas and thoughts before setting out on your next journey, whether it be a career change, new family, or even post-retirement.

The goal of my site is to keep it simple, keep it short -- occasional postings under 300 words.

Where did the time go?

Over these 10 years, I have moved from the valley flatlands to the mountains, watched my children graduate from various educational programs and thrive and face challenges in their own career paths. I have changed my client focus to be more phone and virtual, taken many courses and classes, taken care of my amazing father through his passing in 2013, traveled across the USA, Europe, the Caribbean, and Mexico. I have even served as a bridesmaid at a BFF's wedding.  I have celebrated big birthdays and anniversaries with my loving spouse. I have lost some friends and family as well as our beloved dog. I have made some new friends in my new residential community as well as in some new business ventures. 

What have I learned?

What have I learned, life is full of twists and turns, life is change, and everything is subject to change. Change is inevitable,  but how you go through change and transition is the real challenge. You can go with grace and tenacity or you can fight and complain. Grace is better, but finding grace in moments of change is what makes you need the tenacity to persevere. 

What should I have learned?

I should have put photos or drawings on my blog, and I should have learned photoshop. I should have used an editor to proofread and perfect the grammar on my blog.  I should have commented on more blogs on a regular basis to build my audience and create a community. I might have learned how to monetize my blog so as to create passive income. 

What is next?

Well, maybe all of what I should have learned is what is next. In addition, I will start to learn to count. My blog can be over 300 words, but never more than 700 words. Maybe I am slow at learning all this, but I am sure the future holds more promise if I remember to be tenacious and live with grace.  

Time to Listen More

Now is a good time for us to listen. The holiday season brings many social gatherings and events. Listen more and learn. Instead of delving right into a conversation, spend more time in listening mode. This may give you an opportunity for deeper communications in the long run.

Let's say you are attending a neighbor's party. When you choose to listen instead of providing small talk, you can find out all types of information. This event could provide you with the knowledge that:  your friend Sally has just purchased a new car, Jody was laid off and is in need of a new job,Margie is worried about her aging parents, Martha is looking for help with social media for her new business.

All this information gleaned at the neighborhood party can then translate to Sally has an old car to sell.  Jody, who needs a job, can be referred to Martha who needs some help with social media. Margie, with the aging parents, might just need an ear to vent, or she may need some local resources you have to share.

When you listen deeply, you can potentially give the gift of helping move things along, make a job connection or give much needed comfort and assistance. Being a good listener takes extra work and effort, but it really can pay out healthy dividends for yourself, your friends and your community.

Transition Your Thinking

We often have more time for reflection as Autumn sets in. Your thinking determines your mood, attitude and your choices. How are you thinking today?


Cloudy or Clear Thinking

Thinking Outside the Box

Bottom Up Vs. Top Down

Non Thinking as a Strategy

Under thinking

Over thinking


For more thoughts on thinking visit Terry's Thinking - A blog about thinking.

Owl or Lark?

Are you an owl or a lark? Knowing and accepting your natural tendencies can help you be more productive. Owls are night creatures and larks are those who take advantage of the early day and mornings. We are usually one or the other.

• Observe who you are - a lark or owl. Accept it and delight in your being. 

• Work to schedule your activities and tasks around your natural tendencies. Don't create unnecessary work for yourself by planning against your nature. 

• Understand and acknowledge the owl or lark tendencies of your friends and family members. Don't expect deep conversation from an owl early in the day, or late night discussions with a lark later in the day. Accept the morning or evening tendencies of your friends, co-workers and family. Learn to work with them by their style instead of trying to make them someone they are not.

By working with your true nature as well as others, you will be more incline to be the productive and accepting person you want to be.

This is a best of post from 2010. 

Change takes Courage

Change is hard, change is never easy. The only thing constant of course is CHANGE.

Charles Kettering who was an American electrical engineer and manufacturer in the late 1900's said "The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress".

Goethe, the German poet and dramatist said "Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for change".

Given the insight of the ages, it is helpful to understand the steps involved in change. First step is problem recognition. Sometimes problems just arrive and hit us on the head. Other times, a nagging feeling gives us a sense of things to come.

The second thing to do when examining change is to identify the causes. What exactly caused this? Sometimes the cause is simple, other times a complex series of events created the change. The third step is going through the change. Change, when possible, is most often most comfortable when we implement it ourselves. Often case this is not what happens. Change happens then we change. Finally we need to evaluate the changes we have undertaken.

Change is a laboratory for self and organizational growth. Although we may fear it, it is best to embrace it and learn from it. Change is hard, change takes work but in the end we grow.

This is a best of post from 2007

Look to Learn

What does looking elsewhere have to do with transition? Sometimes we focus too much on inner selves that we neglect to take a good look at the environment and people around us.

Here is a reminder: 

Look at People

Who are the people who make your day special? They can be your family members, friends, neighbors and of course your pets. People can also be the providers of service we routinely count on. By focusing on them instead of our "self" we can change our attitude, learn new things and move forward.   


Look at Places

Take some time to observe where you are. Look at the buildings, trees and sky. Our visual senses can bring us great relief from every day sameness. Look with new "eyes" and really see where you are.

Look at Things

Spend some time looking at your surroundings with deeper vision. Really look at the mug on your desk. Observe the stapler. Contemplate your phone. When we look with intent we often see things in a brand new light.

Looking elsewhere is one of the ways to make a transition in your thoughts, attitude and  mindset. Another method is by listening. You may find this previous post about sound helpful. Stillness and Silence.


Let me know how some of these exercises go in transitioning your mind.

This is a best of post.

Look at What is Working in Your Life

When we are in the midst of change, we often think of the future as being the only place we want to be. Try instead to look at the simple things that are working in your life right now. There are almost certainly things that are going well and making your life comfortable and enjoyable. Sometime we have to dig a bit but it is worth taking a look.

Here are some elements we might want to think about:

• The current season
• The daily weather
• A good book to read
• Water that comes from a faucet
• A good friend to call
• A hot meal
• Lights that turn on at a flip of a switch
• A place to sleep
• A toothbrush to clean your teeth
• The sounds of early morning birds in your neighborhood
• A pair of comfy socks
• A piece of paper to write on
• A computer that allows you to visit the world from your desk

What might you want to add to this list? Think about what makes your daily life enjoyable and comfortable.  By paying attention to what is working in our life, we are more likely to adopt a positive attitude towards our future.

Learn from Autumn Leaves

A new neighbor of mine, recently stated to a fellow neighbor who was raking leaves. If only we had a penny for every leaf. I had never heard that particular expression before. It certainly makes for a good laugh. Something we all need when we are faced with a leaf strewn driveway and yard full of leaves. 

Fall brings us leaves to rake and splendid color. Fall is a time of thanks, reflection and review. As the leaves change and the days get shorter we seem to have more time to review our lives and take stock for planning our future. Unless of course, we are tired from raking leaves.

Here is a poem that speaks to the nature of leaves. 

Fall, leaves, fall;

by Emily Jane Brontë (1818 - 1848)

Fall, leaves, fall; die, flowers, away;

Lengthen night and shorten day;

Every leaf speaks bliss to me

Fluttering from the autumn tree.

I shall smile when wreaths of snow

Blossom where the rose should grow;

I shall sing when night's decay

Ushers in a drearier day.

Top photo by Joe. Bottom illustration by Kacei. Modified from 2007 posting.

The Two Sides of Tears - Loss and Achievement

Have you ever stopped to wonder about tears? We can have tears of sorrow and tears of joy. When you experience someone’s tears did you ever stop to think you could be the cause of them in a positive or negative sense?

This quote by Suresh Advaithas expresses it very well.

The biggest loss in life  -  Tears in someone’s eyes because of you.
Biggest achievement in life  - Tears in someone’s eyes for you.

May you bring happy tears to those you know.

This is a best of post from Terry's Thinking, Terry Prince's other blog.  

Reflecting on a Year Passing

If you had to create an annual report for your past year, what would you include as completions or progress on projects?

For the past 5 years, graphic designer Nicholas Felton  has been creating an annual report listing his accomplishments and statistics.

What would you like to track in your life in 2011? Here are some statistics from my current year.

Travel
States visited other than state of residence - 6
Nights spent in other than home residence - 29


Books Read
At least 90. 15 of which were reread books.

Movies Attended in Movie Theater
5

Donation Trips to Goodwill Express  (personal)
7

Giving a Remarkable Thank You!

Over the years, I have received some wonderful thank you notes. The nicest are words that serve as embers to bring light to dark days. Some are trinkets and tokens.

One of the tokens I received was a red lantern from a fellow patient and his partner. In my early twenties, I was hospitalized with an extremely complicated allergic reaction to an antibiotic medicine. The ward I was placed on was a non-surgical ward. Here I made the acquaintance of a fellow patient. We spent many hours in deep conversation about life and living. Neither of us was sure if we were going to "get" better. My fellow patient was released a few days before I was. Just before they left, these wonderful people told me "I had lit the way for his recovery" They gave me a lantern, of which at the time I said, "Oh, thanks". I am sure I had a strange look on my face, but they said, "Someday you will understand, thanks for lighting the way".

Another was a great "To Do" list thank you that was printed on a large "To Do" pad. The listed item said Things to do - Thank Terry. I really treasure this thank you note because it shows how someone used the time management concepts in action. It was truly touching to me, personally and professionally.

The purpose of my telling these two stories are not to promote me, but to let you begin to think about how you can make your thank you notes and tokens remarkable and memorable to your recipients.

So who can you thank?

• Thank the leaders and active volunteers of your associations and organizations who serve.
• Thank the server or cashier who smiles, does his or her job with care and enthusiasm.
• Thank you spouse or loved one who goes that extra special distance for you.
• Thank your long time friends for the joy they bring to your life.

Transition Your Thinking

Your thinking determines your mood, attitude and your choices. How are you thinking today?


Cloudy or Clear Thinking

Thinking Outside the Box

Bottom Up Vs. Top Down

Non Thinking as a Strategy

Under thinking

Over thinking


For more thoughts on thinking visit Terry's Thinking - A blog about thinking.

Transitioning to Having Children

One of life's biggest transitions is going from being without a child to having one. Having a child changes many things:

1) No longer is there just "you" to plan for. You have another life to care for and cherish.

2) Having a child often makes you more aware of your mortality.

3) Having a child changes some of your perspectives, outlook and choices

4) No matter how old your child becomes, they are still your child in your heart.


Enjoy parenthood. Realize and accept there will be many challenges and changes in your life.

Revisiting The Challenge of Change

Change is hard, change is never easy. The only thing constant of course is CHANGE.

Charles Kettering who was an American electrical engineer and manufacturer in the late 1900's said "The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress".

Goethe, the German poet and dramatist said "Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for change".

Given the insight of the ages, it is helpful to understand the steps involved in change. First step is problem recognition. Sometimes problems just arrive and hit us on the head. Other times, a nagging feeling gives us a sense of things to come.

The second thing to do when examining change is to identify the causes. What exactly caused this? Sometimes the cause is simple, other times a complex series of events created the change. The third step is going through the change. Change, when possible, is most often most comfortable when we implement it ourselves. Often case this is not what happens. Change happens then we change. Finally we need to evaluate the changes we have undertaken.

Change is a laboratory for self and organizational growth. Although we may fear it, it is best to embrace it and learn from it. Change is hard, change takes work but in the end we grow.

I originally wrote this article in the late 1990's and then posted this article on my Transition Your Life blog in October of 2007. Somethings are worth revisiting and contemplating for new lessons, insights and thoughts.

Get Your Creativity Cooking

Creativity is not always at hand when we need it most. This is especially true when we are cooking up a transition in our lives. Sometimes we need to try to be extra creative, so we can get some new ideas that set us on our way.

The secret to being creative is trying to simply "be". Being isn't easy. It takes time. This time includes practice, persistence and above all, patience.

Here are six "be" concepts which can be done or not done. These ideas are in no particular order.

1. Be still
2. Be moving around
3. Be aware of your senses
4. Be willing to temporarily close out some of our senses
5. Be in a different environment
6. Be in our normal environment by just hanging in there with a different frame of mind

Let's think of creativity as a salad for those in the Northern hemisphere, and a soup, for those in the Southern hemisphere. It takes a few good ingredients to make a soup or salad special. Try a mixture of the ideas from numbers 1 - 6.

Let me know if you cook up any new ideas. You will be well on your way to preparing something good before long.

Time for Fun

Let's talk about having fun. Fun is something we all need to take seriously. After all, all work and no play is what makes a day dull and us boring.

How can you have fun Today? How can you make fun everyday a priority? Having fun is different for each of us. For some it may be reading a book, watching a favorite TV show, going for a walk or spending time talking on the phone to a friend or family member.

It is important to set some time for fun when we are overloaded with a long "to do list" or complex project. It may seem like a misuse of our time but the "fun break" or "Fun out" will make us more productive in the long run.

When we schedule in fun, we maintain a good balance in our life.

So what fun are you planning today?


Related Earlier Posts -

See Seek to Enjoy All Things
See Recess
See Finding Brilliance in a Dull Day

Muddled in the Middle

Sometimes we are just stuck. Like stuck in the mire of things. We don't know which way to go. Just like in nature, it can happen within ourselves.

Being "muddled in the middle" is uncomfortable and irritating. It makes us cranky and confused. After all, being muddled, is not a nice place to be.

Getting unstuck takes time. Sometimes it takes getting a new attitude or perspective.

Here are some strategies:

Strategy 1 - Realize it takes time to get unstuck, time has to pass.

Strategy 2 - Forgive yourself for being in the middle. Stop fussing and just be.

Strategy 3 - Watch out for procrastination distractions. Know what your usual procrastination activities are and limit them. Too much time spent procrastinating will prolong your muddled time.

Strategy 4 - Make time for fun. Muddled time requires "funouts" - a "funout" is like a timeout but instead of being a time of punishment it is time spent having fun.

Strategy 5 - Don't go it alone. Talk to a trusted friend or your coach about being in the middle. Just the act of talking about it may help you pass well though this stage of life.

If you are in the middle of the muddle, what advice do you have to share?

Seek to Enjoy all Things

Seek to enjoy all things, rather than possess all things. This may be a derivative of Franciscan beliefs regarding poverty and possessions.

During this economic climate, the philosophy above may be a way to survive and thrive.

Imagine seeing things differently: collecting and enjoying what you have around you.

I have just started to follow the blog - "Ernie Tuck". Professor Ernest Tuck of Colorado, USA doesn't seek to collect things, rather he collects ideas. In recent times, he has collected the concept of the sensation of wind, the number four and common experience.

Another blog that seems to bring this concept to reality is 1000 days at sea, now celebrating 700 days at sea without resupplying or restocking. This trip shows that one can make do with what one has around them.

What things are you collecting without having to have in your physical possession?