Say No Now to Move Forward

Do you have looming deadlines? Now is the time to say No! You don't have to be mean, you just have to be firm. Say no to the unnecessary and the unneeded. You can also say no to the much later and not required now.

Focus on what is needed now. Don't look for new projects or let them find you. When you have looming deadlines it is just the nature of the beast that exciting shiny projects will come charging in. This is always the time they will come looking for you, they really will. Be prepared.  Don't let them in you head. Don't put them on your desk or desk top to distract you from your deadline.

Are you about to finish up the school year? Are you almost three weeks away from deadline? This is truly the time to take the words above in the top two paragraphs to heart. Say No now to move forward.

Opening The Door

One of my readers, recently commented privately to me, that "sometimes you need to open the door when you hit the wall".

"Opening the Door" means looking out at new options and opportunities. It can also mean taking a look outside for awhile and then deciding to step back to where you feel comfortable and at home. Sometimes it is nothing ventured, nothing gained. Then again, it can be a useful exercise to review and analyze where you are now.

Check out my earlier post on Hitting the Wall.

Hitting the Wall

Every once in a while we hit a wall in our life. Hitting the wall means we have reached an impasse without a "door" or "window". This is when we have to backtrack, change our attitude or stay within the confines of our current situation. However, staying within the confines of our restricted space for a prolonged time may not be beneficial for our mental health.


We can hit the wall due to employment limitations, current circle of friends, relationship changes, or even environmental limitations. Think people places or things! All of these three categories can contribute to hitting the wall.

Acknowledging that you have hit the wall is the first step. Being patience with yourself is critical at this time. Looking for alternative solutions may take longer than you hoped for. It may also be not the choice you want to choose, but one that is the best for you in the long run. Most importantly remember change takes time and is a challenge.

Falling Behind and Running Ahead

There are days when we think we are "ahead" and days when we are falling "behind". On the best of days we are right where we are suppose to be.

Here are some strategies to help you: 

When you are Ahead

First, mentally acknowledge yourself for being at the "ahead" stage rather than the "behind" phase. Second, take some time to build in a well earned break. Third, review the elements of your success. Sometimes we have developed new skills that have allowed us to move forward. Glean these as takeaways for the future.


When you are Behind

First take a deep breath, acknowledge where you are. Realize that this will not be forever.Second, spend some time working on strategies. How you might speed up, or move your project along? Sometimes we have to pull out of other unnecessary or less important activities to reach a project goal.Third, seek help. Many times we fall behind because we fail to enlist help. Sometimes that is what we need to move forward.

Liminal Times

When we transition we will likely go through the liminal phase. Liminal being part of Limen which is the Latin word meaning "a threshold".

The word Liminal has at least three definitions:

1) of or relating to a sensory threshold
2) barely perceptible
3) of or relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase or condition

When have you experienced a liminal state or phase?

Transition Your Life - Adulthood

This is the second in the series of posts on transition times. Let's visit the transition periods that often occur in adulthood (age 30 - 40).

Transitioning to having a child
Transitioning to having a teenager
Transitioning to accepting infertility
Transitioning to a new skill or hobby
Transitioning to the loss of parent(s) or loved ones
Transitioning to the loss of a relationship
Transitioning to a career change
Transitioning to new neighbors
Transitioning to having a chronic health condition
Transitioning to new home
Transitioning to job loss
Transitioning to evolving spiritual or religious beliefs
Transitioning to financial losses/financial gains
Transitioning to changing relationships with your parents (adult to adult)


Life is a journey, you don't have to go it alone. Having a transition coach can be the best decision and investment you can make.

See also Transition Your Life - Early Adulthood

Resizing Your World

When in transition we often shrink our daily contacts down to the less stressful, more peaceful ones. We do this for self protection and to also help make our days calmer. Going through transition takes peace, quiet and often solitude.

Transition is a time to try new things and acquaint ourselves with new people and new ideas. Finding new people isn't always that easy but often times this is when we go back to our roots and seek out those who meant something to us in terms of friendship and personal and professional development. This needs to be done selectively and carefully. Missteps are abound here if you don't set personal boundaries with yourself on this adventure.

Resizing your world takes time and careful thought. Sometimes it time to shrink the contact list and other times it is time to grow and expand the list.

Whatever time it is for you, take it careful and slow. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day.

Note: This is a repeat post of a 2007 post.