Wake Up!

Have you ever felt like you were really out of it? Meaning life in general. I have been on a hiatus of sorts since August 24, 2022 when I was hospitalized for Acute Pancreatitis. I spent 39 days in hospital basically on my back, eleven of those days were spent in the ICU. I was finally released home in mid-October, but had to have daily infusions in my newly installed picc line (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) in my arm. This meant I was essentially homebound and my daily activities of living were those of par of an extremely elderly person. Alas, I had reached Life Stage 15 of my own Life Stage Scale.  I had to go back later in the same month to a hospital in San Francisco for another endoscopic (ECRP) procedure. I, then, had to I had to learn how to walk again and gain my strength to do the simplest things such as walk to the mailbox and climb a few steps. I was all set to resume my life, but then I got Covid a week before Thanksgiving (USA) 2022. Covid recovery took about a month and I was finally imagining life was going to get better. In early January, I got Shingles affecting my mid back and right side. Fortunately I was able to get medication which reduced the severity and have plans to get my shingle shot at the end of April 2023. In February 2023, I was finally able to travel and take a trip and had an enjoyable time, but came back with Covid for the second time in mid-February 2023. 

So what does my tale of woe mean to my starting title of Wake Up? I feel like I have been asleep at the wheel of life since August 2022 and I am now finally ready to wake up! I have focused on the essentials and only that since August 2022. Those essentials come down to Five Things  which have been Getting Healthy, Staying Healthy, Practicing Self-Care, Saying No and Being kind to the people in my life right now. Now, it is the time to go back on my own blog and learn some things about transitioning my own life. I am ready to wake up!

Links to my various blog articles for those experiencing a medical or disaster event of backsliding proportion.

Backsliding: Why we all need to understand this concept! 

Time to Rest

Maybe - Five is All You Can Handle

When Other Things Get In The Way

Why Now?

Have you ever reached the point when you say to yourself "Why Now"? I am at that point, life was beginning to go smoothly then all hell broke loose - So now I (and most likely you too) need to make another transition. Maybe, in fact, we are all at that point with the Covid-19 Pandemic.

Transitions are not easy. They seem to come just when you think you have everything all set. Why is this, I ask you dear reader? "Why now"?

The answer is not why now, but maybe "why not"? Let's face this transition with some grace and positive forward movement. Let's go with Why not! Let's look at this time as time to make some changes.  Change takes courage and begins with little steps.

When Other Things Get In The Way

Where has the time gone? Time goes quickly if you do not pay attention or get distracted with other things.

I am back after a long blogging hiatus. Ready, refreshed and renewed.

My life has had many major transitions since my last blog post.

Caretaking of Parent
Passing of parent
Injury/Illness
Carekaking of ill and aged dog
Passing of Dog
Househunting
Planned Remodeling
Moving
Unexpected Remodeling  (roof repair and replacement)
Big Events
Unexpected Travel

I finished out my Executor position with my Father's Estate in the Spring of 2014.  My father had passed in March of 2013 after many years of health issues of which I was primary caretaker upon his many hospitializaions. In early May 2014,  I went on a short trip and "tripped" and broke my shoulder. Summer of 2014 was spent doing physical therapy. In the summer of 2014 we began house hunting again and our beloved pet Bucky was beginning his decline in health. In September our beloved Bucky, Norwich Terrier, passed at the age of 15.

In October 2014 we purchased our new home and I began an intensive remodeling project, serving as general contractor for the project which included wallpaper removal,  wood flooring installation, sanding and refinishing.  In addition to having the whole interior house painted, some drywall installation in the garage, a whole house painting of the interior, electrical work and some tile repair work.  We moved into the house 2 days before Thanksgiving. About two weeks later we had a major roof leak and were expecting five houseguests for the holidays. Two days before the guest arrived we had a second leak.

January and February 2015 was spent supervising contracted repairs in the Study as the ceiling had to be replaced as well as exterior house repainting and deck repair.  In late January we had a new roof installed. March was vacation time and my husband and I took off for a much need break on a cruise. April and May saw me working on a kitchen stovetop changeout and new kitchen fan installation project.

May involved traveling to a family graduation, then June started party preparations for a friends's big birthday and our first Fourth of July Party Blowout. August involved a cross country road trip and family and friends reunion.

September and October 2015 brought some health issues and November another cruise. December was spent getting ready for the holidays and subsequent houseguests.
So that brings us to now - January 2016.

All this confirms my thoughts that big transitions take time and that some things just take time to get through.

Comments Welcome.

Over and Done

For some graduation means one's life ticket is punched and the next stop is already planned and prepared. Not all of us are so lucky. When the ride of one's life gets derailed or comes off the tracks it's really a cause for frustration.

Not all journeys are straight lines. Fortunately we can learn lots of great things while being on a circuitous route. Remember straight lines are just straight lines. While they are steady they are generally boring.

This is the time to take advantage of your disadvantaged state.  First run over to your local library, yes, the local library, and get an up-to-date library card. Check out some actually books. Bored? Then it is time to read some current magazines or newspapers. You know, the print issues they still get delivered.  Check out any events or near free course offerings in the community. Someone who is reading current events or attending them is likely not a boring person and will have something to say upon meeting new people.

Next, start sharpening your networking skills. Contact a few people to practice some informational interview meetings. Remember you are in-between and searching. You are not yet "officially" looking so you are just collecting information, not seeking definitive employment. Take the pressure off yourself for just the meeting.

Now is the best time to keep healthy. Exercise daily and maintain a healthy diet. Go for a walk and find things that make you laugh and maintain your sense of humor. You have more free time now than you will likely ever have again until you officially retire.  Use your time wisely and enjoy it productively. Don't waste this time. It will be gone before you know it.

Sizing Things Up

There are times when you need to measure your progress on your journey. You can do this at a certain points of times during every transitions. Here are some suggested time and then some questions for you to ask yourself.  The potential times to do this are:


Four months after a move
Two months after graduating college
Three months into a new job
Two months after retiring
One year after the loss of a loved one
Six months after getting married


What has been accomplished? 

What is there left to do? 

What has been learned? 

How have you changed?

How are things different than you expected?

What do you know now that you did not know then about yourself? (Example: You are skilled in packing fragile items)


Reviewing and reflecting can help you get a fresh perspective and grasp of where you are and what you have accomplished. I encourage you to take some time to size things up. It can be revitalizing and give you some more energy to move forward.

Strategies to Get Unstuck

Guest Post By Fred Beiderbecke

When you are about to hit the wall, or feel trapped, the odds of proceeding usually seem insurmountable. Here are some suggestions and strategies:

1) Begin by reframing the situation. Make the whole situation less threatening, friendlier and in terms that make more sense to you. 2) Assume the worst so that you no longer worry, and then proceed as if the worst had already happened. 3) Get back to the basic principles you're operating under for guidance. 4) Trust in a higher power because it is beyond your ability to cope.  5) Enjoy yourself through some diversion, thus taking better care of yourself, and then return to the problem. 6) Use the Serenity Prayer so that the past does not unduly bog you down.  Each moment is a new beginning. 7) Persevere. Remember that good things happen to those who wait.

In these ways, you can go around, over, or create an opened door (as was described in the earlier post Hitting the Wall.) 

Muddled and Stuck?

Sometimes we are just stuck. Like stuck in the mire of things. We don't know which way to go. Just like in nature, it can happen within ourselves.

Being "muddled in the middle" is uncomfortable and irritating. It makes us cranky and confused. After all, being muddled, is not a nice place to be.

Getting unstuck takes time. Sometimes it takes getting a new attitude or perspective.

Here are some strategies:

Strategy 1 - Realize it takes time to get unstuck, time has to pass.

Strategy 2 - Forgive yourself for being in the middle. Stop fussing and just be.

Strategy 3 - Watch out for procrastination distractions. Know what your usual procrastination activities are and limit them. Too much time spent procrastinating will prolong your muddled time.

Strategy 4 - Make time for fun. Muddled time requires "funouts" - a "funout" is like a timeout but instead of being a time of punishment it is time spent having fun.

Strategy 5 - Don't go it alone. Talk to a trusted friend or your coach about being in the middle. Just the act of talking about it may help you pass well though this stage of life.

If you are in the middle of the muddle, what advice do you have to share?

This is a best of post from 2009

Three Ways to Change Your Attitude

Change and transition's are generally difficult. If you have been involuntarily made to change, a change of attitude may make a big difference.

Three ways to change or transition your attitude:

1. Try looking at things with a perspective outside of yourself.
2. Visualize a good outcome and rethink strategically how to get to that place.
3. Be grateful you have to experience this discomfort and appreciate the insightful lesson's you will learn.

Growth comes from change. Start with changing your attitude. You will enjoy the journey much more.

This is a Best of Post from 2009

Learn from Autumn Leaves

A new neighbor of mine, recently stated to a fellow neighbor who was raking leaves. If only we had a penny for every leaf. I had never heard that particular expression before. It certainly makes for a good laugh. Something we all need when we are faced with a leaf strewn driveway and yard full of leaves. 

Fall brings us leaves to rake and splendid color. Fall is a time of thanks, reflection and review. As the leaves change and the days get shorter we seem to have more time to review our lives and take stock for planning our future. Unless of course, we are tired from raking leaves.

Here is a poem that speaks to the nature of leaves. 

Fall, leaves, fall;

by Emily Jane Brontë (1818 - 1848)

Fall, leaves, fall; die, flowers, away;

Lengthen night and shorten day;

Every leaf speaks bliss to me

Fluttering from the autumn tree.

I shall smile when wreaths of snow

Blossom where the rose should grow;

I shall sing when night's decay

Ushers in a drearier day.

Top photo by Joe. Bottom illustration by Kacei. Modified from 2007 posting.

Change Your Attitude

Change and transition's are generally difficult. If you have been involuntarily made to change, a change of attitude may make a big difference.

Three ways to change or transition your attitude:

1. Try looking at things with a perspective outside of yourself.
2. Visualize a good outcome and rethink strategically how to get to that place.
3. Be grateful you have to experience this discomfort and appreciate the insightful lesson's you will learn.

Growth comes from change. Start with changing your attitude. You will enjoy the journey much more.

Read about other concepts of change

Time to Prune

When we need to make room for something new, pruning out the unnecessary or expired is an important task. 

Having an annual pruning of your workspace is helpful to free up room, clear out the dust and recover empty space. The same applies for our house and living spaces.


What is no longer serving you? What can you prune out of your life to make room for something in the future?

You might search for dust. Dusty things have not been used in a while. You could also look for torn, worn, too small, to big or frayed. If the things in your environment are not in good shape, maybe they need to go.

Pruning allows new growth to begin. So start pruning and get ready for new beginnings and growth.

Look For Dust

Coming back after vacation is disheartening and refreshing. At first one may welcome one's bed and then one may face a mountain of snail and email.

This is a good time to look for dust - dust in your life. What is no longer serving you?

Do you have piles of books and magazines that are unread, or conversely read and no longer necessary? Spend some time culling out the piles. This will help you see new opportunities ahead.  

Check out your closet, do you see clothes no longer worn or cared for. These are great for donations to charity.

What about activities you no longer care to do? Do you have a retired hobby or uncared for collection. Reduce these former treasures to make space for your life today.

Unproductive Times Again

This is a repeat post - but it is one that I think truly needs to be remembered and put out there again and again. So it's time to check in and see if you or your clients are in an Unproductive Phase of Life. 

While working towards being productive is taking a step in the right direction. Working on being organized and expecting magnificent and tangible results are unrealistic during certain phases or periods of time. I think it helps us to acknowledge when we are in these unproductive times. This acceptance of the situation makes us or the client calmer and more relaxed. This new state of mind then sets the foundation for future productivity efforts.

Know to identify the Unproductive Phases of Life
Having a child in ½ day kindergarten and being the designated driver to pick up and drop off

Those 2 – 3 days waiting for definitive biopsy or health test results

Your third trimester during pregnancy

During a home remodeling project

A parent having 3 children under age 5

Immediately 1 – 12 months after having surgery

A new parent having just born or adopted a child

The year you handle a family, friend or relatives estate

The first 6 months to 9 months after a move

Six months to two years after the breakup of a significant relationship

Serving as primary caretaker to a chronically ill or declining family member

The year following the death of a loved one or friend 

An End is Really A Beginning

Throughout our lives we have endings. These endings can be the end of a job, relationship, or even the way we do something. Endings are usually messy. They are never really clean cut, neat or organized. Very few endings are easy. Endings, of course, are the end, but they are also the onset of the beginning.

To get a handle on endings, the first step is to realize you are at the "end". By having a mental conversation with yourself, you are beginning the process of your grieving. I am not saying you have to like this conversation, but once you begin it, you are on your way.

The stages of grief are well outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Kübler-Ross's five stages are not nice and neat but often involve meandering around in one stage or another.

Getting back to the beginning, one may grieve, but one also learns many new things during this end and beginning phase of life. This is the time in our life that causes us to try new things, experience new thoughts and make changes in our daily routines and patterns. This is not to say it is going to be all fun. If we can, however, imagine the opportunities we now have to unexpectedly experience, we may be able to think of the end as an unexpected gift. Perhaps this is the only gift to come out of loss. But it is a gift, none the less.

Thinking about Unproductive Times

This is a "best of post" written a few years ago

While working towards being productive is taking a step in the right direction. Working on being organized and expecting magnificent and tangible results are unrealistic during certain phases or periods of time. I think it helps us to acknowledge when we are in these unproductive times. This acceptance of the situation makes us or the client calmer and more relaxed. This new state of mind then sets the foundation for future productivity efforts.

Know to identify the Unproductive Phases of Life

Having a child in ½ day kindergarten and being the designated driver to pick up and drop off

Those 2 – 3 days waiting for definitive biopsy or health test results

Your third trimester during pregnancy

During a home remodeling project

A parent having 3 children under age 5

Immediately 1 – 12 months after having surgery

A new parent having just born or adopted a child

The year you handle a family, friend or relatives estate

The first 6 months to 9 months after a move

Six months to two years after the breakup of a significant relationship

Serving as primary caretaker to a chronically ill or declining family member

The year following the death of a loved one or friend

900 Days at Sea

Do you ever feel you are adrift in the ocean of your life? Sometimes when we get lulled in the complacency of everyday waves of life we lose sight of where we are headed. We are usually most often adrift when we are out of touch with who we are and where we are going.

Going out drifting can be unwise if we do not have a map or a chart. Sure, we can enjoy a few days of "just being" but if we venture into waters unknown we can be pushed upon the rocks and shoals of life.

To get redirected and back on course, we need to stop and take careful inventory. The four questions we need to begin asking is:

Who are we?

What have we to give?

Where shall we spend our days upon this planet?

Who would be good and interesting passengers on our boat of life?

For the last 900 days, a sailor has been on an ocean voyage without resupplying or stopping.The original destination day 1000 - However the planned return to New York harbor in April of 2010 may be extended a few more weeks or months due to winter weather. It has been fun being a visitor to the 1000 day at sea blog and tracking this unique and interesting journey.

If you like to read and want to take another sea journey you can read the classic book Sailing Alone Around the World by Joshua Slocum.

Revisiting The Challenge of Change

Change is hard, change is never easy. The only thing constant of course is CHANGE.

Charles Kettering who was an American electrical engineer and manufacturer in the late 1900's said "The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress".

Goethe, the German poet and dramatist said "Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for change".

Given the insight of the ages, it is helpful to understand the steps involved in change. First step is problem recognition. Sometimes problems just arrive and hit us on the head. Other times, a nagging feeling gives us a sense of things to come.

The second thing to do when examining change is to identify the causes. What exactly caused this? Sometimes the cause is simple, other times a complex series of events created the change. The third step is going through the change. Change, when possible, is most often most comfortable when we implement it ourselves. Often case this is not what happens. Change happens then we change. Finally we need to evaluate the changes we have undertaken.

Change is a laboratory for self and organizational growth. Although we may fear it, it is best to embrace it and learn from it. Change is hard, change takes work but in the end we grow.

I originally wrote this article in the late 1990's and then posted this article on my Transition Your Life blog in October of 2007. Somethings are worth revisiting and contemplating for new lessons, insights and thoughts.

Transition Your Life - Golden Age

This is the fourth in the series of posts on transition times. Let's visit the transition periods that often occur in adulthood (age 60 - 72).

Transitioning to a smaller home
Transitioning to grandchildren and great-grandchildren
Transitioning to loss of a loved one
Transitioning to approaching retirement
Transitioning to retirement
Transitioning to career change
Transitioning to job loss
Transitioning to evolving spiritual or religious beliefs
Transitioning to a new or chronic health condition
Transitioning to caretaker for parent(s)or grandchildren
Transitioning to having college age children
Transitioning to having married children and in-law relationships
Transitioning to changing relationships with your parents (adult to elderly parent)
Transitioning to financial gain/financial loss
Transitioning to changing relationships with your children (adult to adult)

What other transitions do you think happen during this time period?

See also
Transition Your Life - Adulthood
Transition Your Life - Early Adulthood
Transition Your Life - Middle Age

Mistakes Happen

Mistake happen to us all. Mistakes are especially prevalent when when we are new or transitioning to an activity or new process.

Jane Cahill Pfeiffer, a visible business leader in the 1960's and 1970's was quoted as saying "It is not easy, but you have to be willing to make mistakes. And the earlier you make those mistakes, the better.”

The best lesson I have ever learned was that I am human and can make mistakes. Forgiving myself for my less than perfect behavior has released me from any unhealthy and pointless personal upset.

The other important lesson I've learned is to consciously learn from my mistakes and try not to consistently repeat the same one's.

Let us accept that mistakes happen even to the best of us. The key about mistakes is to learn and grow from them. Use them as a catalyst for growth not a stone on the back to carry or throw at someone else.

Imagine Your Obituary

Imagine your obituary. What will it read?

I came across Fodey -a site that generates a small newspaper image. I used Fodey to create a fictitious obituary for Complacent Indifference. This is a bit of creative license taken from a variety of print articles that have appeared over the years about Somebody Else and Nobody. These articles are often used in non profit organizations to motivate people to volunteer. These stories often go under the title That's Not My Job and Who's Job Is It? and have the author "unknown".

What does all this have to do with transitioning your life? You can get off the sofa, do something, start something, read something, or try something and transition the "nobody" in you to "somebody really special".