More or Less - Setting your Resolutions for 2021

It is almost the official time of year when we work on setting resolutions.

Here is an easy way to get started on your resolutions for 2021. What can you do more of in 2021? What can you do less of?  

The More

Smile More
Laugh More
Walk More
Drink More Water
Appreciate More
Read More
Write More
Listen More

The Less 

Eat Less
Swear Less
Worry Less
Frown Less
Complain Less
Procrastinate Less
Talk Less

Do you want to make more progress in 2021? It may be a perfect time to start working with a transition coach to help you get more from your life in 2021.

Being Positive in a Negative World

It is hard to stay positive when we are filled with negativity. Recently I've noticed more negative conversations around the world's water coolers. How can we remain or become positive?

Balance Out your Media 
Avoid watching too much daily news.  Reduce your media consumption by 20 percent. Seek out positive blogs or select an uplifting book instead.  Listen to some soothing instrumental music instead of listening to talk and dialogue.

Look at Nature
Put down the cell phone or pad and look at the sky, feel the wind, savor the weather.

Smile More
Individuals who smile are more likely to be received in a positive light. In others words, we get what we give.

Be Positive where you can
Say thank you, your welcome and really mean it . Work on your inflections.

Appreciate and Play with your Pets
Pet's are great stress relievers. Spend some time watching or hanging out with them.


Realize you can't necessarily change the world, but you can change yourself and your attitude.

Traffic Light Thinking

The traffic light is a great metaphor for reviewing where you are in terms of  creativity or project development. 

Creativity – Everyone is creative in their own way. You can look at your personal or professional creatively in terms of the traffic light. Are you being creative and flowing, as in being in the green light? Or are you in a cautionary or transitional phase as in yellow. Maybe you are at a stopping point and are at the red light waiting for time or inspiration. Again the secret is to be aware and clear on where you are in terms of the traffic light.

Project Development – Are you at a standstill? Have you come to a red light? Did you hit a full stop?  Are you at a transitional time when you are in caution mode? Are you in the flow with the green light going full speed ahead? Knowing where you are on a project, in terms of the traffic light,  is a helpful tool for monitoring your activity and progress.

Where you are at the traffic light is a great tool for understanding your productivity and creative status. Green may be good, but too much green may be exhausting and unhealthy.  A long time at yellow may mean you are in a transition and may need to try other things. This could include seek help from others such as a coach or make some required changes. Being in the red may be frustrating, but it can also be the well-needed rest. Red can also be the warning sign to make some changes

Try using the traffic light metaphor in measuring or examining some of your projects or activities. Let me know what you think.

This is a post from my blog Terry's Thinking 

Over and Done

For some graduation means one's life ticket is punched and the next stop is already planned and prepared. Not all of us are so lucky. When the ride of one's life gets derailed or comes off the tracks it's really a cause for frustration.

Not all journeys are straight lines. Fortunately we can learn lots of great things while being on a circuitous route. Remember straight lines are just straight lines. While they are steady they are generally boring.

This is the time to take advantage of your disadvantaged state.  First run over to your local library, yes, the local library, and get an up-to-date library card. Check out some actually books. Bored? Then it is time to read some current magazines or newspapers. You know, the print issues they still get delivered.  Check out any events or near free course offerings in the community. Someone who is reading current events or attending them is likely not a boring person and will have something to say upon meeting new people.

Next, start sharpening your networking skills. Contact a few people to practice some informational interview meetings. Remember you are in-between and searching. You are not yet "officially" looking so you are just collecting information, not seeking definitive employment. Take the pressure off yourself for just the meeting.

Now is the best time to keep healthy. Exercise daily and maintain a healthy diet. Go for a walk and find things that make you laugh and maintain your sense of humor. You have more free time now than you will likely ever have again until you officially retire.  Use your time wisely and enjoy it productively. Don't waste this time. It will be gone before you know it.

Muddled and Stuck?

Sometimes we are just stuck. Like stuck in the mire of things. We don't know which way to go. Just like in nature, it can happen within ourselves.

Being "muddled in the middle" is uncomfortable and irritating. It makes us cranky and confused. After all, being muddled, is not a nice place to be.

Getting unstuck takes time. Sometimes it takes getting a new attitude or perspective.

Here are some strategies:

Strategy 1 - Realize it takes time to get unstuck, time has to pass.

Strategy 2 - Forgive yourself for being in the middle. Stop fussing and just be.

Strategy 3 - Watch out for procrastination distractions. Know what your usual procrastination activities are and limit them. Too much time spent procrastinating will prolong your muddled time.

Strategy 4 - Make time for fun. Muddled time requires "funouts" - a "funout" is like a timeout but instead of being a time of punishment it is time spent having fun.

Strategy 5 - Don't go it alone. Talk to a trusted friend or your coach about being in the middle. Just the act of talking about it may help you pass well though this stage of life.

If you are in the middle of the muddle, what advice do you have to share?

This is a best of post from 2009

Three Ways to Change Your Attitude

Change and transition's are generally difficult. If you have been involuntarily made to change, a change of attitude may make a big difference.

Three ways to change or transition your attitude:

1. Try looking at things with a perspective outside of yourself.
2. Visualize a good outcome and rethink strategically how to get to that place.
3. Be grateful you have to experience this discomfort and appreciate the insightful lesson's you will learn.

Growth comes from change. Start with changing your attitude. You will enjoy the journey much more.

This is a Best of Post from 2009

Look at What is Working in Your Life

When we are in the midst of change, we often think of the future as being the only place we want to be. Try instead to look at the simple things that are working in your life right now. There are almost certainly things that are going well and making your life comfortable and enjoyable. Sometime we have to dig a bit but it is worth taking a look.

Here are some elements we might want to think about:

• The current season
• The daily weather
• A good book to read
• Water that comes from a faucet
• A good friend to call
• A hot meal
• Lights that turn on at a flip of a switch
• A place to sleep
• A toothbrush to clean your teeth
• The sounds of early morning birds in your neighborhood
• A pair of comfy socks
• A piece of paper to write on
• A computer that allows you to visit the world from your desk

What might you want to add to this list? Think about what makes your daily life enjoyable and comfortable.  By paying attention to what is working in our life, we are more likely to adopt a positive attitude towards our future.

Are You a Short-Timer?

Are you suffering from Short-Timer's Syndrome? This often happens when we are close to reaching our goal.

Originally, the term Short-Timers was applied to a syndrome observed in military soldiers who were about two to three months out from their rotation or returning home. I believe short-timer syndrome can apply to civilian and military life.

Senior Slump or Lame Duck is another way of terming this specialized short term but difficult condition. This syndrome is seen and observed in work, education or at the end of an association or officer leadership position.

Since we are almost three months from May and June, the common months of graduation and association term ends, it is a good time to take a deeper look at it. Short-timers often get burned out and are frazzled. This is because they have so much to do or accomplish in their limited time. However, short-timers  need to think about their future as much as they need to enjoy the present. This is a true time of transition and transitions are never easy. Being a short-timer is hard.

Review the following and see how you approach the end of a work project, educational assignment or association position.


At Work: 

When the contract or project is almost at the end  - 

a) I get focused and so preoccupied with the future, I don't focus well on today's project with full intent. 


b) I try to be all things to all people, so I can leave a lasting "legacy". I avoid thinking about the "day after" I finish. I will think about that later.

In an Association:

When my term is almost over - 

a) I begin to get the attitude of "I'll let the next person deal with it".

b) I work overly hard and start burning the candle at both ends. So much to do, so little time. I don't think about the future.



At the End of an Education Program:

When I am nearing the completion of my degree or educational program -

a) I find myself worrying about the future and I am not concentrating enough on the assignments and work I have left to do.

b) I start focusing too much on the now, and avoid thinking or doing anything in planning for my upcoming future.



What Can You Do if You Are a Short-Timer?

1) First determine what kind of short-timer you are?

2) Take a moment and view your end by the other perspective.

3) Consider hiring a transition or life coach to help you avoid burning the candle at both ends. The coach can provide some light and clarity to help you see clearer beyond the current assignment, and help you make a bright future, while still helping you focus on the now.


For Short-Timer's
 
Want to stay in the present? Consider hiring a transition or life coach to help guide you through these times.


For Family, Friends or Colleagues of Short-Timers

Consider giving your "short-timer" the early gift of a transition or life coaching package. This will help your short-timer shine through the end of their work and help them plan for their future.
  

You might also enjoy these posts - Eking It Out in The End 
Senior Year and Change.

This is a best of post of 2010.

Stuck and Stagnant

Life sometimes pulls us into the dismal pond of stagnation.

Stagnation is painful, messy and like quicksand can suck us down into the depths of despair. Stagnation happens to everyone at some point or another. The pond is usually stinky and the time spent in it is not pleasant. Remember it won't be forever, although, it may seem like it at the time.


How can we get out of the pond of stagnation?


1. First, realize we are in the pond!

2. Take stock of the good things going on, despite the mess we are in.

3. Take the focus off ourselves and pay attention to the world for a while. We can do this by reading a book, researching something new, by walking and taking in the scenery.

4. Smile even though we may not want to. Our smiling disposition will likely bring more positive attention to us rather than the continuity in our negative state.

5. Seek out and utilize a variety of help and guidance. This may include reconnecting to our faith, trusted friends and even seeking out the help of professionals.

How have you handled stagnation?

This is a best of post from 2009

Unproductive Times Again

This is a repeat post - but it is one that I think truly needs to be remembered and put out there again and again. So it's time to check in and see if you or your clients are in an Unproductive Phase of Life. 

While working towards being productive is taking a step in the right direction. Working on being organized and expecting magnificent and tangible results are unrealistic during certain phases or periods of time. I think it helps us to acknowledge when we are in these unproductive times. This acceptance of the situation makes us or the client calmer and more relaxed. This new state of mind then sets the foundation for future productivity efforts.

Know to identify the Unproductive Phases of Life
Having a child in ½ day kindergarten and being the designated driver to pick up and drop off

Those 2 – 3 days waiting for definitive biopsy or health test results

Your third trimester during pregnancy

During a home remodeling project

A parent having 3 children under age 5

Immediately 1 – 12 months after having surgery

A new parent having just born or adopted a child

The year you handle a family, friend or relatives estate

The first 6 months to 9 months after a move

Six months to two years after the breakup of a significant relationship

Serving as primary caretaker to a chronically ill or declining family member

The year following the death of a loved one or friend 

Thinking about Unproductive Times

This is a "best of post" written a few years ago

While working towards being productive is taking a step in the right direction. Working on being organized and expecting magnificent and tangible results are unrealistic during certain phases or periods of time. I think it helps us to acknowledge when we are in these unproductive times. This acceptance of the situation makes us or the client calmer and more relaxed. This new state of mind then sets the foundation for future productivity efforts.

Know to identify the Unproductive Phases of Life

Having a child in ½ day kindergarten and being the designated driver to pick up and drop off

Those 2 – 3 days waiting for definitive biopsy or health test results

Your third trimester during pregnancy

During a home remodeling project

A parent having 3 children under age 5

Immediately 1 – 12 months after having surgery

A new parent having just born or adopted a child

The year you handle a family, friend or relatives estate

The first 6 months to 9 months after a move

Six months to two years after the breakup of a significant relationship

Serving as primary caretaker to a chronically ill or declining family member

The year following the death of a loved one or friend

900 Days at Sea

Do you ever feel you are adrift in the ocean of your life? Sometimes when we get lulled in the complacency of everyday waves of life we lose sight of where we are headed. We are usually most often adrift when we are out of touch with who we are and where we are going.

Going out drifting can be unwise if we do not have a map or a chart. Sure, we can enjoy a few days of "just being" but if we venture into waters unknown we can be pushed upon the rocks and shoals of life.

To get redirected and back on course, we need to stop and take careful inventory. The four questions we need to begin asking is:

Who are we?

What have we to give?

Where shall we spend our days upon this planet?

Who would be good and interesting passengers on our boat of life?

For the last 900 days, a sailor has been on an ocean voyage without resupplying or stopping.The original destination day 1000 - However the planned return to New York harbor in April of 2010 may be extended a few more weeks or months due to winter weather. It has been fun being a visitor to the 1000 day at sea blog and tracking this unique and interesting journey.

If you like to read and want to take another sea journey you can read the classic book Sailing Alone Around the World by Joshua Slocum.

Revisiting The Challenge of Change

Change is hard, change is never easy. The only thing constant of course is CHANGE.

Charles Kettering who was an American electrical engineer and manufacturer in the late 1900's said "The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress".

Goethe, the German poet and dramatist said "Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for change".

Given the insight of the ages, it is helpful to understand the steps involved in change. First step is problem recognition. Sometimes problems just arrive and hit us on the head. Other times, a nagging feeling gives us a sense of things to come.

The second thing to do when examining change is to identify the causes. What exactly caused this? Sometimes the cause is simple, other times a complex series of events created the change. The third step is going through the change. Change, when possible, is most often most comfortable when we implement it ourselves. Often case this is not what happens. Change happens then we change. Finally we need to evaluate the changes we have undertaken.

Change is a laboratory for self and organizational growth. Although we may fear it, it is best to embrace it and learn from it. Change is hard, change takes work but in the end we grow.

I originally wrote this article in the late 1990's and then posted this article on my Transition Your Life blog in October of 2007. Somethings are worth revisiting and contemplating for new lessons, insights and thoughts.

Get Your Creativity Cooking

Creativity is not always at hand when we need it most. This is especially true when we are cooking up a transition in our lives. Sometimes we need to try to be extra creative, so we can get some new ideas that set us on our way.

The secret to being creative is trying to simply "be". Being isn't easy. It takes time. This time includes practice, persistence and above all, patience.

Here are six "be" concepts which can be done or not done. These ideas are in no particular order.

1. Be still
2. Be moving around
3. Be aware of your senses
4. Be willing to temporarily close out some of our senses
5. Be in a different environment
6. Be in our normal environment by just hanging in there with a different frame of mind

Let's think of creativity as a salad for those in the Northern hemisphere, and a soup, for those in the Southern hemisphere. It takes a few good ingredients to make a soup or salad special. Try a mixture of the ideas from numbers 1 - 6.

Let me know if you cook up any new ideas. You will be well on your way to preparing something good before long.

Leaps and Voids

I came across this site recently that explained the concept of "leaps" and "voids". Leaps are the period in your life when you take great strides in your life, whereas voids are the time when you are at a low. This is a spiritual site, one that I am not directly affiliated with, but the wisdom is profound.

Voids http://www.ancientcalendar.net/voidperiod.htm

Leaps http://www.ancientcalendar.net/leapperiod.htm