When Other Things Get In The Way

Where has the time gone? Time goes quickly if you do not pay attention or get distracted with other things.

I am back after a long blogging hiatus. Ready, refreshed and renewed.

My life has had many major transitions since my last blog post.

Caretaking of Parent
Passing of parent
Injury/Illness
Carekaking of ill and aged dog
Passing of Dog
Househunting
Planned Remodeling
Moving
Unexpected Remodeling  (roof repair and replacement)
Big Events
Unexpected Travel

I finished out my Executor position with my Father's Estate in the Spring of 2014.  My father had passed in March of 2013 after many years of health issues of which I was primary caretaker upon his many hospitializaions. In early May 2014,  I went on a short trip and "tripped" and broke my shoulder. Summer of 2014 was spent doing physical therapy. In the summer of 2014 we began house hunting again and our beloved pet Bucky was beginning his decline in health. In September our beloved Bucky, Norwich Terrier, passed at the age of 15.

In October 2014 we purchased our new home and I began an intensive remodeling project, serving as general contractor for the project which included wallpaper removal,  wood flooring installation, sanding and refinishing.  In addition to having the whole interior house painted, some drywall installation in the garage, a whole house painting of the interior, electrical work and some tile repair work.  We moved into the house 2 days before Thanksgiving. About two weeks later we had a major roof leak and were expecting five houseguests for the holidays. Two days before the guest arrived we had a second leak.

January and February 2015 was spent supervising contracted repairs in the Study as the ceiling had to be replaced as well as exterior house repainting and deck repair.  In late January we had a new roof installed. March was vacation time and my husband and I took off for a much need break on a cruise. April and May saw me working on a kitchen stovetop changeout and new kitchen fan installation project.

May involved traveling to a family graduation, then June started party preparations for a friends's big birthday and our first Fourth of July Party Blowout. August involved a cross country road trip and family and friends reunion.

September and October 2015 brought some health issues and November another cruise. December was spent getting ready for the holidays and subsequent houseguests.
So that brings us to now - January 2016.

All this confirms my thoughts that big transitions take time and that some things just take time to get through.

Comments Welcome.

Celebrating One's Return

It has been a long time since my last post. I have been doing some extreme caretaking and then dealing with the loss of a loved one. Certain things take a long while to process and attend to. It is nice to finally be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

What I have learned is transitions can sometimes take a lot of time and emotional toil. Some transitions are easy and others complex and painful. Regardless of which kind of transition one goes through, time is usually the best prescription for forward progress.   

My progress has been aided by a good support system, great friends and professionals such as hospice care and my ever helpful life coach. Even a transition expert needs some help.

I look forward to more frequent updates on my blog. Comments always welcome.

Sunshine Ahead

Summer is here. The sun is shining and everything is growing. Do you look at your life in terms of seasons or weather?

Sometimes we are growing and other times resting. Hotter weather might bring out your desires to relax, where as cold may make you want to busy about getting stuff done. The same concept can be applied to summer and winter. Are you a summer "rester" or summer "doer"?

Unproductive Times Again

This is a repeat post - but it is one that I think truly needs to be remembered and put out there again and again. So it's time to check in and see if you or your clients are in an Unproductive Phase of Life. 

While working towards being productive is taking a step in the right direction. Working on being organized and expecting magnificent and tangible results are unrealistic during certain phases or periods of time. I think it helps us to acknowledge when we are in these unproductive times. This acceptance of the situation makes us or the client calmer and more relaxed. This new state of mind then sets the foundation for future productivity efforts.

Know to identify the Unproductive Phases of Life
Having a child in ½ day kindergarten and being the designated driver to pick up and drop off

Those 2 – 3 days waiting for definitive biopsy or health test results

Your third trimester during pregnancy

During a home remodeling project

A parent having 3 children under age 5

Immediately 1 – 12 months after having surgery

A new parent having just born or adopted a child

The year you handle a family, friend or relatives estate

The first 6 months to 9 months after a move

Six months to two years after the breakup of a significant relationship

Serving as primary caretaker to a chronically ill or declining family member

The year following the death of a loved one or friend 

An End is Really A Beginning

Throughout our lives we have endings. These endings can be the end of a job, relationship, or even the way we do something. Endings are usually messy. They are never really clean cut, neat or organized. Very few endings are easy. Endings, of course, are the end, but they are also the onset of the beginning.

To get a handle on endings, the first step is to realize you are at the "end". By having a mental conversation with yourself, you are beginning the process of your grieving. I am not saying you have to like this conversation, but once you begin it, you are on your way.

The stages of grief are well outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Kübler-Ross's five stages are not nice and neat but often involve meandering around in one stage or another.

Getting back to the beginning, one may grieve, but one also learns many new things during this end and beginning phase of life. This is the time in our life that causes us to try new things, experience new thoughts and make changes in our daily routines and patterns. This is not to say it is going to be all fun. If we can, however, imagine the opportunities we now have to unexpectedly experience, we may be able to think of the end as an unexpected gift. Perhaps this is the only gift to come out of loss. But it is a gift, none the less.

Transition Your Life - Adulthood

This is the second in the series of posts on transition times. Let's visit the transition periods that often occur in adulthood (age 30 - 40).

Transitioning to having a child
Transitioning to having a teenager
Transitioning to accepting infertility
Transitioning to a new skill or hobby
Transitioning to the loss of parent(s) or loved ones
Transitioning to the loss of a relationship
Transitioning to a career change
Transitioning to new neighbors
Transitioning to having a chronic health condition
Transitioning to new home
Transitioning to job loss
Transitioning to evolving spiritual or religious beliefs
Transitioning to financial losses/financial gains
Transitioning to changing relationships with your parents (adult to adult)


Life is a journey, you don't have to go it alone. Having a transition coach can be the best decision and investment you can make.

See also Transition Your Life - Early Adulthood

Imagine Your Obituary

Imagine your obituary. What will it read?

I came across Fodey -a site that generates a small newspaper image. I used Fodey to create a fictitious obituary for Complacent Indifference. This is a bit of creative license taken from a variety of print articles that have appeared over the years about Somebody Else and Nobody. These articles are often used in non profit organizations to motivate people to volunteer. These stories often go under the title That's Not My Job and Who's Job Is It? and have the author "unknown".

What does all this have to do with transitioning your life? You can get off the sofa, do something, start something, read something, or try something and transition the "nobody" in you to "somebody really special".

Unproductive Times

While working towards being productive is taking a step in the right direction. Working on being organized and expecting magnificent and tangible results are unrealistic during certain phases or periods of time. I think it helps us to acknowledge when we are in these unproductive times. This acceptance of the situation makes us or the client calmer and more relaxed. This new state of mind then sets the foundation for future productivity efforts.

Know to identify the Unproductive Phases of Life

Having a child in ½ day kindergarten and being the designated driver to pick up and drop off

Those 2 – 3 days waiting for definitive biopsy or health test results

Your third trimester during pregnancy

During a home remodeling project

A parent having 3 children under age 5

Immediately 1 – 12 months after having surgery

A new parent having just born or adopted a child

The year you handle a family, friend or relatives estate

The first 6 months to 9 months after a move

Six months to two years after the breakup of a significant relationship

Serving as primary caretaker to a chronically ill or declining family member

The year following the death of a loved one or friend