The Year In Review

Now is a great time to review the 2017 calendar and see the postive progress you have made in life's transitions, challenges and changes.

What have you accomplished?

What is on track in your life?

What is new and a positive addition to your life that you did not see or imagine last year?

Take some time to do this exercise so you can be aware of your accomplishments. You may want to consider creating an accomplishment journal. This is a great tool to see your life's transitions and changes.

Eking it out

When we reach the near end of a project or activity, distractions seem to find us. In our eagerness to move on to the next thing, we may lose focus on the current assignment and spend too much time concentrating on the next thing. Staying focused is often hard towards the end.

The reasons we have difficulty are: 

1) We want to move to the next project, adventure or assignment. In some fields, this is called "short timers syndrome". 

2) We know moving on means changing our daily routine or work patterns. We may like our current day and this new upcoming day or life may be hard to imagine.

3) We know moving on will mean new or different relationships with people, places or things.  


Some strategies for moving on at the end of a project or assignment are:

Strategy 1 - Stay focused. Think about the present, not the future. 

Strategy 2 - Enjoy your last days or weeks with your present situation and acknowledge and appreciate the familiar routines and daily patterns.

Strategy 3 - Avoid procrastination activities and bring the best you can to the current work or assignment.

Strategy 4 - Take care of your physical self. Get enough sleep, drink plenty of water and maintain a healthy diet. 

If you have just finished eking it out, what advice or strategies do you have to offer?

See also: Muddled in the Middle

You might also enjoy reading Sluggish Starts - How to Get Going.

A Decade of Blogging

How can it be ten years since I first started blogging? Where did the time go? What have I learned? What should I have learned? What is next?

I started my blog in 2007 as a holding place for my thoughts on transitions.

This Site is for testing ideas and thoughts before setting out on your next journey, whether it be a career change, new family, or even post-retirement.

The goal of my site is to keep it simple, keep it short -- occasional postings under 300 words.

Where did the time go?

Over these 10 years, I have moved from the valley flatlands to the mountains, watched my children graduate from various educational programs and thrive and face challenges in their own career paths. I have changed my client focus to be more phone and virtual, taken many courses and classes, taken care of my amazing father through his passing in 2013, traveled across the USA, Europe, the Caribbean, and Mexico. I have even served as a bridesmaid at a BFF's wedding.  I have celebrated big birthdays and anniversaries with my loving spouse. I have lost some friends and family as well as our beloved dog. I have made some new friends in my new residential community as well as in some new business ventures. 

What have I learned?

What have I learned, life is full of twists and turns, life is change, and everything is subject to change. Change is inevitable,  but how you go through change and transition is the real challenge. You can go with grace and tenacity or you can fight and complain. Grace is better, but finding grace in moments of change is what makes you need the tenacity to persevere. 

What should I have learned?

I should have put photos or drawings on my blog, and I should have learned photoshop. I should have used an editor to proofread and perfect the grammar on my blog.  I should have commented on more blogs on a regular basis to build my audience and create a community. I might have learned how to monetize my blog so as to create passive income. 

What is next?

Well, maybe all of what I should have learned is what is next. In addition, I will start to learn to count. My blog can be over 300 words, but never more than 700 words. Maybe I am slow at learning all this, but I am sure the future holds more promise if I remember to be tenacious and live with grace.  

Changing Your Mind

There are times in life when we find ourselves changing our minds about certain things. These changes can mean we have found new insights or ways of dealing with things or feelings.

A change of mind can be because you have comprehended a different perspective, felt more aware or differently about something.

When have you changed your mind about something?

Ahead or Behind?

There are days when we think we are "ahead" and days when we are falling "behind". On the best of days we are right where we are suppose to be.

Here are some strategies to help you: 

When you are Ahead

First, mentally acknowledge yourself for being at the "ahead" stage rather than the "behind" phase. Second, take some time to build in a well earned break. Third, review the elements of your success. Sometimes we have developed new skills that have allowed us to move forward. Glean these as takeaways for the future.


When you are Behind

First take a deep breath, acknowledge where you are. Realize that this will not be forever.Second, spend some time working on strategies. How you might speed up, or move your project along? Sometimes we have to pull out of other unnecessary or less important activities to reach a project goal.Third, seek help. Many times we fall behind because we fail to enlist help. Sometimes that is what we need to move forward.

This is a best of post from 2011

Prepare some new ideas!

Creativity is not always at hand when we need it most. This is especially true when we are cooking up a transition in our lives. Sometimes we need to try to be extra creative, so we can get some new ideas that set us on our way.

The secret to being creative is trying to simply "be". Being isn't easy. It takes time. This time includes practice, persistence and above all, patience.

Here are six "be" concepts which can be done or not done. These ideas are in no particular order.

1. Be still
2. Be moving around
3. Be aware of your senses
4. Be willing to temporarily close out some of our senses
5. Be in a different environment
6. Be in our normal environment by just hanging in there with a different frame of mind

Let's think of creativity as a salad for those in the Northern hemisphere, and a soup, for those in the Southern hemisphere. It takes a few good ingredients to make a soup or salad special. Try a mixture of the ideas from numbers 1 - 6.

Let me know if you cook up any new ideas. You will be well on your way to preparing something good before long.

This is a best of post from 2009. 

Shoulds and Coulds - Time to Revisit

Last year, I wrote a post about shoulds and coulds - I think it is a good time of year to visit it again.  

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your shoulds and coulds

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.

2. Delve into the shoulds and coulds

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car


3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components.

4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about.

For Example:

I should have said  ..... instead of ......
I could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)

Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.

Transforming Shoulds and Coulds

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your shoulds and coulds

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.


2. Delve into the shoulds and coulds

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car



3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components.


4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about.

For Example:

I should have said  ..... instead of ......
I could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)


Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.

Forgiving Oneself

Last week I had an unwelcome surprise. While walking my dog, I slipped and broke my ankle. At the onset, while I was in a good amount of pain, I also spend a fair amount of time, internally scolding myself for my foolishness.

Looking back, I see that I may have experienced twice as much "pain", more than I really needed. My "slip slide" on the pavement was a mistake, not by intention. Sometimes we let our guard down and things just happen.

The ankle is healing, and I am hobbling along. From this experience, I know I will again be more wary of the puddles in my path and the way I treat myself when I make a mistake.

Sluggish Starts

Not all new project start fast and furious. Some projects are doomed to sluggish starts. Here are some strategies to surpass the sluggish qualities.

Strategy 1) Start with a clear vision of what you want or need to do. Take some time to sit and write out what you want or need to accomplish. This sounds simple, but defining a clear vision is often the part that gets skipped.

Strategy 2) Know what you don't have to do. This is especially important and often overlooked while one is moving forward. You can keep the decks clear of procrastination and inconsequential parts of the project by figuring out what you don't have to do,. Recently I wrote a post on my other blog - The Importance of What's Missing. This article may help you consider knowing what you don't have to do on a deeper level.

Strategy 3) Select a time when you will work on the project. This time needs to be held sacred. Sit and start for at least an hour. This may help you get past your block or resistance.

Strategy 4) Some projects don't have deadlines. Making a deadline helps one be more productive. Break your project into sections and give yourself a timetable for completion. This may be something you can do alongside Strategy three.


I have two earlier posts that relate to projects - Check them out when you are reaching the middle or end of a project.

Muddled in The Middle
Eeking it Out at The End

Transition Times - Early Adulthood

This is the first of a series of posts on transition times. Let's visit the early transition periods. They often occur in early adulthood (age 18 to age 35).

Transitioning to college
Transitioning to job seeker
Transitioning to first "real" job
Transitioning to couple
Transitioning to engaged person
Transitioning to newly married
Transitioning to unemployed
Transitioning to new career path
Transitioning to relocating to a new city or town
Transitioning to further education
Transitioning to the loss of a loved one
Transitioning to new friends
Transitioning to a new or newly diagnosed chronic health condition
Transitioning to first home
Transitioning to expectant parent(s)
Transitioning to having a newborn
Transitioning to having a toddler
Transitioning to having a school age child

While not everybody experiences all of these phases, most individuals within the 18 -35 year age range will experience at least two to four of these.

Transitions are not easy, they take courage, perseverance and sometimes tenacity.

Mistakes Happen

Mistake happen to us all. Mistakes are especially prevalent when when we are new or transitioning to an activity or new process.

Jane Cahill Pfeiffer, a visible business leader in the 1960's and 1970's was quoted as saying "It is not easy, but you have to be willing to make mistakes. And the earlier you make those mistakes, the better.”

The best lesson I have ever learned was that I am human and can make mistakes. Forgiving myself for my less than perfect behavior has released me from any unhealthy and pointless personal upset.

The other important lesson I've learned is to consciously learn from my mistakes and try not to consistently repeat the same one's.

Let us accept that mistakes happen even to the best of us. The key about mistakes is to learn and grow from them. Use them as a catalyst for growth not a stone on the back to carry or throw at someone else.