Wake Up!

Have you ever felt like you were really out of it? Meaning life in general. I have been on a hiatus of sorts since August 24, 2022 when I was hospitalized for Acute Pancreatitis. I spent 39 days in hospital basically on my back, eleven of those days were spent in the ICU. I was finally released home in mid-October, but had to have daily infusions in my newly installed picc line (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) in my arm. This meant I was essentially homebound and my daily activities of living were those of par of an extremely elderly person. Alas, I had reached Life Stage 15 of my own Life Stage Scale.  I had to go back later in the same month to a hospital in San Francisco for another endoscopic (ECRP) procedure. I, then, had to I had to learn how to walk again and gain my strength to do the simplest things such as walk to the mailbox and climb a few steps. I was all set to resume my life, but then I got Covid a week before Thanksgiving (USA) 2022. Covid recovery took about a month and I was finally imagining life was going to get better. In early January, I got Shingles affecting my mid back and right side. Fortunately I was able to get medication which reduced the severity and have plans to get my shingle shot at the end of April 2023. In February 2023, I was finally able to travel and take a trip and had an enjoyable time, but came back with Covid for the second time in mid-February 2023. 

So what does my tale of woe mean to my starting title of Wake Up? I feel like I have been asleep at the wheel of life since August 2022 and I am now finally ready to wake up! I have focused on the essentials and only that since August 2022. Those essentials come down to Five Things  which have been Getting Healthy, Staying Healthy, Practicing Self-Care, Saying No and Being kind to the people in my life right now. Now, it is the time to go back on my own blog and learn some things about transitioning my own life. I am ready to wake up!

Links to my various blog articles for those experiencing a medical or disaster event of backsliding proportion.

Backsliding: Why we all need to understand this concept! 

Time to Rest

Maybe - Five is All You Can Handle

When Other Things Get In The Way

Notice Now to Make Changes

Sometimes we want to make changes but we are not quite ready. A technique that can help you in this process is "noticing".

Notice when you are doing the habit or behavior that you want to change. By noticing we can gather all sorts of data and information that will help us make potential steps towards the change.

For instance: take the habit of oversleeping. Take note of the days you tend to do this? What type of activities do you have planned on that day? Does the planned anxiety of the day cause you stress and start the oversleeping process? Do you start sabotaging your sleep by staying up late, eating foods that cause you indigestion?

Noticing is a great tool for making changes. What can you notice?

Smile More

Smiles are contagious. They can help you maintain a sunny disposition and also have the effect of making people respond to you in a positive rather than negative way.

We may forget to smile when we are in a hurry or at the end of the day when we are tired. It is hard to smile when we are sad, but when dealing with strangers and other people, a smile may help brighten the day and provide us a friendlier environment in which to communicate or work in.

This is a best of post.

Moving On

I recently came across a little paperback version of the book After The Move, Growing Roots in a New Community  by Judith Lechman.  This book published  by Lion in 1990 stands the test of time.

As someone who has moved over 20 times in my life, it really resonated about the mental aspects of moving. Moving requires physical strength and tenacity, but to me the most difficult part about moving is the mental part.

Judith's book discuses what she calls the 4 D's of moving. They are Being Disorientation, Being Disorganization, Being Discouraged and Being Disconnected.

Moving into a new home, creates disorientation. We have to learn a new floor plan, find new providers of services such as grocery stores, pharmacy and medical providers. All these are in locations unfamiliar to us, which means we have to learn how to get to and from our new home to theses new places.

When we move into a new home or apartment, we have to store our things usually in different places. This creates disorganization. Knowing that we have silverware is one thing, but knowing and familiarizing ourselves with the storage location is another.

Moving can be discouraging. We have to commit hours of unpacking and organizing of our stuff. We have to adjust to our new job, or community. Judith suggests we don't look at the whole picture, instead focus on one chore at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow, just focus on what needs to be done today.

When we move to a new community we are immediately disconnected. "Moving can be painfully lonely. It cuts us off from our past, isolates us from the present, and detaches us from the future." While this feeling is normal, we need to start to reach out within our new unity to expand our friendships and broaden our experiences. This happens best when we approach it with a positive attitude.

So if you are about to move, or have just moved. Take heart in understanding the "4 D's" and you will soon be feeling more at home in your new community.

 

Eking it out

When we reach the near end of a project or activity, distractions seem to find us. In our eagerness to move on to the next thing, we may lose focus on the current assignment and spend too much time concentrating on the next thing. Staying focused is often hard towards the end.

The reasons we have difficulty are: 

1) We want to move to the next project, adventure or assignment. In some fields, this is called "short timers syndrome". 

2) We know moving on means changing our daily routine or work patterns. We may like our current day and this new upcoming day or life may be hard to imagine.

3) We know moving on will mean new or different relationships with people, places or things.  


Some strategies for moving on at the end of a project or assignment are:

Strategy 1 - Stay focused. Think about the present, not the future. 

Strategy 2 - Enjoy your last days or weeks with your present situation and acknowledge and appreciate the familiar routines and daily patterns.

Strategy 3 - Avoid procrastination activities and bring the best you can to the current work or assignment.

Strategy 4 - Take care of your physical self. Get enough sleep, drink plenty of water and maintain a healthy diet. 

If you have just finished eking it out, what advice or strategies do you have to offer?

See also: Muddled in the Middle

You might also enjoy reading Sluggish Starts - How to Get Going.

Say No Now to Move Forward

Do you have looming deadlines? Now is the time to say No! You don't have to be mean, you just have to be firm. Say no to the unnecessary and the unneeded. You can also say no to the much later and not required now.

Focus on what is needed now. Don't look for new projects or let them find you. When you have looming deadlines it is just the nature of the beast that exciting shiny projects will come charging in. This is always the time they will come looking for you, they really will. Be prepared.  Don't let them in your head. Don't put them on your desk or desktop to distract you from your deadline.

Are you about to finish up the school year? Are you almost three weeks away from deadline? This is truly the time to take the words above in the top two paragraphs to heart. Say No now to move forward.

This is a best of post from 2014

Making Time For Fun

Let's talk about having fun. Fun is something we all need to take seriously. After all, all work and no play is what makes a day dull and us boring.

How can you have fun Today? How can you make fun everyday a priority? Having fun is different for each of us. For some it may be reading a book, watching a favorite TV show or movie, using Pinterest or Facebook, playing solitaire, going for a walk or spending time talking on the phone to a friend or family member. 

It is especially important to set some time for fun when we are overloaded with a long "to do list" or complex project. Fun needs to be incorporated into our day when we are in the middle of a life transition or living through a stress filled period in our life such as when serving as a primary caregiver for an acutely ill person or child.  It may seem like a misuse of our time but the "fun break" or "Fun out" will make us more productive and effective in the long run.

When we schedule in fun, we maintain a good balance in our life. 

So what fun are you planning today?

This is a revised post from 2014

Getting Support

I've been thinking about how we can get support from those around us.  First, let's look at who does support us. The first names that come to mind are our loved one, our spouse, family members or parents. Next,  we may think of friends, neighbors, church and association members. Also on our list might be our co-workers and colleagues.

Each of us have a form of support that that I would like to call our Transactional Support Team. These are individuals who are in our lives due to some type of transaction. They can include our hairstylist, bank teller, checkout clerk, or postal/package delivery person.  Sometimes all we need is an acknowledgment of our existence, a chat about the weather or a friendly hello.

Who is on your Transactional Support Team?

Over and Done

For some graduation means one's life ticket is punched and the next stop is already planned and prepared. Not all of us are so lucky. When the ride of one's life gets derailed or comes off the tracks it's really a cause for frustration.

Not all journeys are straight lines. Fortunately we can learn lots of great things while being on a circuitous route. Remember straight lines are just straight lines. While they are steady they are generally boring.

This is the time to take advantage of your disadvantaged state.  First run over to your local library, yes, the local library, and get an up-to-date library card. Check out some actually books. Bored? Then it is time to read some current magazines or newspapers. You know, the print issues they still get delivered.  Check out any events or near free course offerings in the community. Someone who is reading current events or attending them is likely not a boring person and will have something to say upon meeting new people.

Next, start sharpening your networking skills. Contact a few people to practice some informational interview meetings. Remember you are in-between and searching. You are not yet "officially" looking so you are just collecting information, not seeking definitive employment. Take the pressure off yourself for just the meeting.

Now is the best time to keep healthy. Exercise daily and maintain a healthy diet. Go for a walk and find things that make you laugh and maintain your sense of humor. You have more free time now than you will likely ever have again until you officially retire.  Use your time wisely and enjoy it productively. Don't waste this time. It will be gone before you know it.

Small Steps to Getting Things Done

Getting started is often the hardest part of any task. Think about some "small steps" you can do to get part of the process or project done.

One of the ways to view the task in today's modern world is to decide if your task involves Electronic Communication Activities or Non-Electronic Communications Activities.  By determining this you can set the stage to begin your task. You can also steer yourself away from the electronic distractions which are more of a tendency to increase procrastination. 



Electronic Communication Activities 

• Turn on the computer or phone
• Mentally draft an outline of the conversation or email/test before you actually begin
• Look up a phone number or email in your files
  
• Get into a blank document  (if you have to draft a letter) or set up an email or text
• Start typing or speaking

Conversely if you don't have a "screen" or electronic task at hand, you can consider using this list of steps:

Non-Electronic Communications Activities

• Turn off the computer
• Turn off the cell or mobile phone
• Visualize or decide what needs to be done first
• Get out the tools you need to do the job
• Go to the needed location 
• Begin your process

This is a best of post from 2011 - I am posting this because I need to take my own advice to heart.

Ahead or Behind?

There are days when we think we are "ahead" and days when we are falling "behind". On the best of days we are right where we are suppose to be.

Here are some strategies to help you: 

When you are Ahead

First, mentally acknowledge yourself for being at the "ahead" stage rather than the "behind" phase. Second, take some time to build in a well earned break. Third, review the elements of your success. Sometimes we have developed new skills that have allowed us to move forward. Glean these as takeaways for the future.


When you are Behind

First take a deep breath, acknowledge where you are. Realize that this will not be forever.Second, spend some time working on strategies. How you might speed up, or move your project along? Sometimes we have to pull out of other unnecessary or less important activities to reach a project goal.Third, seek help. Many times we fall behind because we fail to enlist help. Sometimes that is what we need to move forward.

This is a best of post from 2010.

Smile More

Smiles are contagious. They can help you maintain a sunny disposition and also have the effect of making people respond to you in a positive rather than negative way.

We may forget to smile when we are in a hurry or at the end of the day when we are tired. It is hard to smile when we are sad, but when dealing with strangers and other people, a smile may help brighten the day and provide us a friendlier environment in which to communicate or work in. 

This is a best of post.

Transition Your Thinking

We often have more time for reflection as Autumn sets in. Your thinking determines your mood, attitude and your choices. How are you thinking today?


Cloudy or Clear Thinking

Thinking Outside the Box

Bottom Up Vs. Top Down

Non Thinking as a Strategy

Under thinking

Over thinking


For more thoughts on thinking visit Terry's Thinking - A blog about thinking.

Get Ready To Change

Sometimes we want to make changes but we are not quite ready. A technique that can help you in this process is "noticing".

Notice when you are doing the habit or behavior that you want to change. By noticing we can gather all sorts of data and information that will help us make potential steps towards the change.

For instance: take the habit of oversleeping. Take note of the days you tend to do this? What type of activities do you have planned on that day? Does the planned anxiety of the day cause you stress and start the oversleeping process? Do you start sabotaging your sleep by staying up late, eating foods that cause you indigestion?

Noticing is a great tool for making changes. What can you notice?

Going Forward

Researching and learning new things takes time. Often it is two steps forward and one step back. We learn in little bits and pieces.

Being willing to learn is the first step. Being willing to fail is also an important piece of learning new things.

Remember a journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step.

What one step can you take to begin your new journey?

This is a best of post from 2009

Change Your Attitude

Change and transition's are generally difficult. If you have been involuntarily made to change, a change of attitude may make a big difference.

Three ways to change or transition your attitude:

1. Try looking at things with a perspective outside of yourself.
    
2. Visualize a good outcome and rethink strategically how to get to that place.
    
3. Be grateful you have to experience this discomfort and appreciate the insightful lesson's you will learn.

Growth comes from change. Start with changing your attitude. You will enjoy the journey much more.

This is a best of post.

Winds of Change - Fall is Around The Corner

Does the upcoming change of season get you excited or anxious? Seasonal change can be viewed as a happy event or one of dread. Seasonal change means preparation for new weather, events and activities. For me Autumn is my time of learning and creativity. Summer to me is my time of rest and rejuvenation.  Winter is my celebration and reflection time. Spring brings me energy and excitement. 

How do you view the seasonal changes?

Maybe it is time to work with a life coach. Contact Terry when you are ready to make a transition in your life.  

Strategies to Get Unstuck

Guest Post By Fred Beiderbecke

When you are about to hit the wall, or feel trapped, the odds of proceeding usually seem insurmountable. Here are some suggestions and strategies:

1) Begin by reframing the situation. Make the whole situation less threatening, friendlier and in terms that make more sense to you. 2) Assume the worst so that you no longer worry, and then proceed as if the worst had already happened. 3) Get back to the basic principles you're operating under for guidance. 4) Trust in a higher power because it is beyond your ability to cope.  5) Enjoy yourself through some diversion, thus taking better care of yourself, and then return to the problem. 6) Use the Serenity Prayer so that the past does not unduly bog you down.  Each moment is a new beginning. 7) Persevere. Remember that good things happen to those who wait.

In these ways, you can go around, over, or create an opened door (as was described in the earlier post Hitting the Wall.) 

Hitting the Wall

Every once in a while we hit a wall in our life. Hitting the wall means we have reached an impasse without a "door" or "window". This is when we have to backtrack, change our attitude or stay within the confines of our current situation. However, staying within the confines of our restricted space for a prolonged time may not be beneficial for our mental health.

We can hit the wall due to employment limitations, current circle of friends, relationship changes, or even environmental limitations. Think people, places, or things! All of these three categories can contribute to hitting the wall.

Acknowledging that you have hit the wall is the first step. Being patience with yourself is critical at this time. Looking for alternative solutions may take longer than you hoped for. It may also be not the choice you want to choose, but one that is the best for you in the long run. Most importantly remember change takes time and is a challenge.

This is a best of post from 2010.

Owl or Lark?

Are you an owl or a lark? Knowing and accepting your natural tendencies can help you be more productive. Owls are night creatures and larks are those who take advantage of the early day and mornings. We are usually one or the other.

• Observe who you are - a lark or owl. Accept it and delight in your being. 

• Work to schedule your activities and tasks around your natural tendencies. Don't create unnecessary work for yourself by planning against your nature. 

• Understand and acknowledge the owl or lark tendencies of your friends and family members. Don't expect deep conversation from an owl early in the day, or late night discussions with a lark later in the day. Accept the morning or evening tendencies of your friends, co-workers and family. Learn to work with them by their style instead of trying to make them someone they are not.

By working with your true nature as well as others, you will be more incline to be the productive and accepting person you want to be.

This is a best of post from 2010.