Wake Up!

Have you ever felt like you were really out of it? Meaning life in general. I have been on a hiatus of sorts since August 24, 2022 when I was hospitalized for Acute Pancreatitis. I spent 39 days in hospital basically on my back, eleven of those days were spent in the ICU. I was finally released home in mid-October, but had to have daily infusions in my newly installed picc line (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) in my arm. This meant I was essentially homebound and my daily activities of living were those of par of an extremely elderly person. Alas, I had reached Life Stage 15 of my own Life Stage Scale.  I had to go back later in the same month to a hospital in San Francisco for another endoscopic (ECRP) procedure. I, then, had to I had to learn how to walk again and gain my strength to do the simplest things such as walk to the mailbox and climb a few steps. I was all set to resume my life, but then I got Covid a week before Thanksgiving (USA) 2022. Covid recovery took about a month and I was finally imagining life was going to get better. In early January, I got Shingles affecting my mid back and right side. Fortunately I was able to get medication which reduced the severity and have plans to get my shingle shot at the end of April 2023. In February 2023, I was finally able to travel and take a trip and had an enjoyable time, but came back with Covid for the second time in mid-February 2023. 

So what does my tale of woe mean to my starting title of Wake Up? I feel like I have been asleep at the wheel of life since August 2022 and I am now finally ready to wake up! I have focused on the essentials and only that since August 2022. Those essentials come down to Five Things  which have been Getting Healthy, Staying Healthy, Practicing Self-Care, Saying No and Being kind to the people in my life right now. Now, it is the time to go back on my own blog and learn some things about transitioning my own life. I am ready to wake up!

Links to my various blog articles for those experiencing a medical or disaster event of backsliding proportion.

Backsliding: Why we all need to understand this concept! 

Time to Rest

Maybe - Five is All You Can Handle

When Other Things Get In The Way

Should and Could's - let's think about this!

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your should's and could's 

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.


2. Delve into the should's and could's

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car 



3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components. 


4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about. 

For Example:

I should have said  ..... instead of ......
I could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)


Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.


This is a best of post from 2009.

What's Most Important to You?

Do you take time out to think about what is most important to you? Do you take life as it comes or do you make life what you want it to be? There may be no right or wrong answers to these two questions, however those who fail to plan, often find their life results less than they desire.

I have found taking “formal planned  time” to focus on what is most important to you is key to creating the life you want.Taking time out from your day-to-day activities can be tricky and complicated, especially if you lead a busy life. However, if you are a busy person, then taking time out is as easy as making an appointment or two with yourself. A few hours will likely be enough for you to create a clearer understanding of where you want to go.

Individuals who are focused can pre-plan their “future vision session” .  They can do this by creating a list of questions to consider during the session.  This will allow a more focused and directed time. However, if you are a person who has trouble focusing, working with a life coach for a few sessions might be the key to creating the life you want. The life coach can help you by asking great questions, and then you can find your own answers.

Terry now provides life coaching services. Check out her website for more details.

A Decade of Blogging

How can it be ten years since I first started blogging? Where did the time go? What have I learned? What should I have learned? What is next?

I started my blog in 2007 as a holding place for my thoughts on transitions.

This Site is for testing ideas and thoughts before setting out on your next journey, whether it be a career change, new family, or even post-retirement.

The goal of my site is to keep it simple, keep it short -- occasional postings under 300 words.

Where did the time go?

Over these 10 years, I have moved from the valley flatlands to the mountains, watched my children graduate from various educational programs and thrive and face challenges in their own career paths. I have changed my client focus to be more phone and virtual, taken many courses and classes, taken care of my amazing father through his passing in 2013, traveled across the USA, Europe, the Caribbean, and Mexico. I have even served as a bridesmaid at a BFF's wedding.  I have celebrated big birthdays and anniversaries with my loving spouse. I have lost some friends and family as well as our beloved dog. I have made some new friends in my new residential community as well as in some new business ventures. 

What have I learned?

What have I learned, life is full of twists and turns, life is change, and everything is subject to change. Change is inevitable,  but how you go through change and transition is the real challenge. You can go with grace and tenacity or you can fight and complain. Grace is better, but finding grace in moments of change is what makes you need the tenacity to persevere. 

What should I have learned?

I should have put photos or drawings on my blog, and I should have learned photoshop. I should have used an editor to proofread and perfect the grammar on my blog.  I should have commented on more blogs on a regular basis to build my audience and create a community. I might have learned how to monetize my blog so as to create passive income. 

What is next?

Well, maybe all of what I should have learned is what is next. In addition, I will start to learn to count. My blog can be over 300 words, but never more than 700 words. Maybe I am slow at learning all this, but I am sure the future holds more promise if I remember to be tenacious and live with grace.  

Time for a Calendar Review!

Have you reviewed your calendar lately? A calendar review is a great way to get insight into your productivity. To do this helpful exercise, open up your online or paper calendar and review your past 12 months of listed activities.

• Do you have significant and functional social time with friends, family and loved ones?
• Have you included physical exercise and healthy activities to reach your health and fitness goals?
• Are you including enrichment and life long learning activities into your schedule?
• Are the associations and organizations that you belong to and attending fulfilling your needs?

Your calendar can give you valuable data into how you are spending your time. It can also flag activities that you list but do not attend. Take some time to review your calendar, it will be time well spent.

This is an earlier 2012 post from my Terry's Thinking Blog, well worth revisiting this time of year.  

Changes and Challenges

Now is a great time to review the 2016 calendar and see the progress you have made in life's transitions, challenges and changes.

What have you accomplished?

What is on track in your life?

What is new and a positive addition to your life that you did not see or imagine last year?

Take some time to do this exercise so you can be aware of your accomplishments. You may want to consider creating an accomplishment journal. This is a great tool to see your life's transitions and changes.

Get Ready To Be Ready

The expression Ready, Set, Go is likely an adaptation of the prompt On Your Mark, Get Set, Go used by a variety of racing fields (swimming, running) to prepare their participants for action. 


We can use the Ready, Set, Go to prepare our day or even our life for upcoming changes.

Being Ready

To be ready we can prepare our tools, equipment, and even our physical being for the upcoming action. We can improve our knowledge on the subject, increase our skills and education. We can prepare our body for the upcoming physical actions or anticipated requirements by eating nutritious and healthy foods. 


Getting Set

While getting set means getting on the "mark" in the physical racing world, we can get our brain on the mark, by being in the right mindset. This includes being truly focused on what is before us. By avoiding distracting veins of thought we can be instead set on our upcoming event. We can also actively work to prevent beginning conversations in our minds that get our emotional being unsettled. 


Going On

The Go part of is the first step on your new path. Take a deep breath and begin. Since you have already done the Ready and the Set it is likely that the Go part will be the easiest.    



Getting ready and set are by far the most important parts of making a transition.  Be prepared to spend some time and do some work to fulfill the preparation of "Ready" and "Set".   


Have you used Ready, Set, Go in your life transitions?  

This is a best of post - from 2010.

Say No Now to Move Forward

Do you have looming deadlines? Now is the time to say No! You don't have to be mean, you just have to be firm. Say no to the unnecessary and the unneeded. You can also say no to the much later and not required now.

Focus on what is needed now. Don't look for new projects or let them find you. When you have looming deadlines it is just the nature of the beast that exciting shiny projects will come charging in. This is always the time they will come looking for you, they really will. Be prepared.  Don't let them in you head. Don't put them on your desk or desk top to distract you from your deadline.

Are you about to finish up the school year? Are you almost three weeks away from deadline? This is truly the time to take the words above in the top two paragraphs to heart. Say No now to move forward.

Small Steps to Getting Things Done

Getting started is often the hardest part of any task. Think about some "small steps" you can do to get part of the process or project done.

One of the ways to view the task in today's modern world is to decide if your task involves Electronic Communication Activities or Non-Electronic Communications Activities.  By determining this you can set the stage to begin your task. You can also steer yourself away from the electronic distractions which are more of a tendency to increase procrastination. 



Electronic Communication Activities 

• Turn on the computer or phone
• Mentally draft an outline of the conversation or email/test before you actually begin
• Look up a phone number or email in your files
  
• Get into a blank document  (if you have to draft a letter) or set up an email or text
• Start typing or speaking

Conversely if you don't have a "screen" or electronic task at hand, you can consider using this list of steps:

Non-Electronic Communications Activities

• Turn off the computer
• Turn off the cell or mobile phone
• Visualize or decide what needs to be done first
• Get out the tools you need to do the job
• Go to the needed location 
• Begin your process

This is a best of post from 2011 - I am posting this because I need to take my own advice to heart.

Look at "Shoulds" and "Coulds"

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your shoulds and coulds

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.


2. Delve into the shoulds and coulds

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car



3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components.


4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about.

For Example:

I should have said  ..... instead of ......
I could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)


Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.


This is a best of post from 2009.

Rightsize Your Life

There is always a lot of talk about downsizing and rightsizing. Let's look at thiese concepts in a small immediate way. How can you rightsize your day? Let the day starting tomorrow be your practice day. First let's define rightsize. Rightsize means creating a day with enough hours to do the desired tasks at hand, a day with some form of joy and laughter, healthy eating and physical activity. We can plan our day by getting our "to do" list planned ahead of time, making sure we have the ingredients for healthy eating and include some form of physical activity.  We can also work to connect with loved ones, friends and acquaintances. Some of you may also want to include some spiritual or meditation time.

Here are six elements of  rightsizing  your day!

1) Select tasks that suit the day
When I say a day with enough hours to do the desired tasks at hand, I mean creating a productive and effective "to do" list. One that is doable for the hours we have available, leaving some wiggle room for unexpected issues.
2) Plan to eat right
Create a menu from what you have on hand, or figure out what you need to order to have a healthy kitchen. Make sure you have plenty of water to drink, as water will help energize you and keep you hydrated. Avoid overindulgence. Make good food choices throughout the day and evening.
3) Include daily exercise
Every day needs some form of exercise. Make sure this is part of your day.
4) Cherish your relationships
Work to connect with the ones you love or care about.
5) Include joy and laughter
We all need some fun in our daily life. This can be having a good conversation, or watching a situational comedy to get our laugh on. We can also find joy in nature. Just take some time to enjoy your environment.
6) Work in some spiritual time or meditation
Whatever your beliefs, having some time spent on spiritual devotions or using some time to meditate will serve you well.

Keep the six elements in mind when planning your tomorrow and every day after. Rightsizing your day is the foundation of rightsizing your life.

This is a post from my other blog - Terry's Thinking.

Winds of Change - Fall is Around The Corner

Does the upcoming change of season get you excited or anxious? Seasonal change can be viewed as a happy event or one of dread. Seasonal change means preparation for new weather, events and activities. For me Autumn is my time of learning and creativity. Summer to me is my time of rest and rejuvenation.  Winter is my celebration and reflection time. Spring brings me energy and excitement. 

How do you view the seasonal changes?

Maybe it is time to work with a life coach. Contact Terry when you are ready to make a transition in your life.  

Strategies to Get Unstuck

Guest Post By Fred Beiderbecke

When you are about to hit the wall, or feel trapped, the odds of proceeding usually seem insurmountable. Here are some suggestions and strategies:

1) Begin by reframing the situation. Make the whole situation less threatening, friendlier and in terms that make more sense to you. 2) Assume the worst so that you no longer worry, and then proceed as if the worst had already happened. 3) Get back to the basic principles you're operating under for guidance. 4) Trust in a higher power because it is beyond your ability to cope.  5) Enjoy yourself through some diversion, thus taking better care of yourself, and then return to the problem. 6) Use the Serenity Prayer so that the past does not unduly bog you down.  Each moment is a new beginning. 7) Persevere. Remember that good things happen to those who wait.

In these ways, you can go around, over, or create an opened door (as was described in the earlier post Hitting the Wall.) 

Choose to Be Happy

There are days when choosing to be happy is difficult. Major or minor irritations may abound and you may be wondering why you are even bothering to get out of bed. These days are the times when choosing to be happy is a better alternative than choosing to be sad. Abraham Lincoln said "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." So make a choice to be happy!

Shallow or Deep End?

Are you in the deep or shallow end of life this year? Are you trying new things (as in being in the deep end ) or staying in the shallows (sticking to the safe part of the pool)? Sometimes we need to take a plunge in to the deep end to make a change.

Taking the plunge or diving into the deep end is hard and puts us out of our comfort zone. However we don't have to do it alone. Having an accountability and transition coach can make the experience a supported one.

Terry Prince provides life and transition coaching.

Enjoy the Present

The present is today. Every day, find a way to enjoy something in each day. By focusing on the now, not the past or the future, you will be truly living.

Look at what is working.
Explore what makes you comfortable.
Examine and reflect on what is working in your life.
Remember what makes you smile.
Don't forget to laugh.

Enjoy your present. It's the best!

Muddled and Stuck?

Sometimes we are just stuck. Like stuck in the mire of things. We don't know which way to go. Just like in nature, it can happen within ourselves.

Being "muddled in the middle" is uncomfortable and irritating. It makes us cranky and confused. After all, being muddled, is not a nice place to be.

Getting unstuck takes time. Sometimes it takes getting a new attitude or perspective.

Here are some strategies:

Strategy 1 - Realize it takes time to get unstuck, time has to pass.

Strategy 2 - Forgive yourself for being in the middle. Stop fussing and just be.

Strategy 3 - Watch out for procrastination distractions. Know what your usual procrastination activities are and limit them. Too much time spent procrastinating will prolong your muddled time.

Strategy 4 - Make time for fun. Muddled time requires "funouts" - a "funout" is like a timeout but instead of being a time of punishment it is time spent having fun.

Strategy 5 - Don't go it alone. Talk to a trusted friend or your coach about being in the middle. Just the act of talking about it may help you pass well though this stage of life.

If you are in the middle of the muddle, what advice do you have to share?

This is a best of post from 2009

Restore Yourself

What do you do to do solo rest and rejuvenate yourself? For me I rejuvenate by reading a book, talking a walk, looking out my windows at nature (be it at the sky or in the tree's). I also work on taking a break - such as going to a cafe for a cup of coffee, or even enjoy taking a  stroll in the produce section of the grocery store.

In my mid twenties, one of my favorite breaks was driving to a country nursery and wondering around the plants and indoor greenhouse. In my college years, I went to the Dewitt Mall and ordered chocolate cake, sitting solo with my thought. On a good weather day I would go up the hill to the Johnson Museum and observe the art on display. If I was short of time I would go to the snack bar on my own campus and order a bagel and cream cheese.

When I worked in New York City in the early 80's, I would, weather permitting, go to the park with the waterfall wall and eat a sandwich at lunchtime. In the rainier or cooler times I would go into the then Citibank atrium and enjoy the chatter of fellow restaurant and cafe patrons and savor a cup of coffee.The reason for me telling these tales is to get you to think about what you do, primarily in solitude, to restore yourself.


These days, I look out my window at the large oak trees and pines that surround the house, enjoy a cup of tea or coffee in my favorite chair. I also walk my dog or spend time petting him and watch my cares go away.

So what do you do to restore yourself? Knowing some of the activities you can choose, helps you to select your options.A rest break, short or long,  can bring you energy and revitalize the rest of your day. 

Know Your Daily Patterns

We all have patterns and routines within our day. These patterns can be effective and productive or they can squander our time.

Many people have beginning of the day routines, after meal routines and end of day routines. Within our work life we also have beginnings and endings.We can also have before we turn on the computer, while it shuts down and right after using the computer.Knowing these available transition times, can be helpful in developing good patterns.

First take some time to look at the patterns that are working. Let's call these the Your Effective Transition Times. These are often well entrenched and serve us well. For instance every night before I go to bed, I set up my coffee maker to run. My current model does not have a timer, but when I press the button, this gives me time to unload the dishwasher which I run in the evening. I have been following this pattern for over 20 years and it works well for me. Recently I have also added in taking my vitamins and drinking 6 ounces of water before I drink my coffee.  These are tiny habit* patterns I am currently working on. They are not firmly entrenched into my life, but I have begun. It will take a while for it to become routine, but when linked with other routines I have found better success.  

Next look at potential transition times you are not using. These we will call Your Potential Transition Times. For instance I don't have any habits placed in my after computer or while my computer shuts down. These are two times I can add in some productive habits. To get a habit established, find the "natural breaks" to make it more effective.

Think about these available times when you want to make a productive change in your life. Can you use these Potential Transition Times or add to your most Effective Transition Times (the ones already in use). As a cautionary measure do not overload your effective transition times. I suggest having no more that 6 items in your "habit string".

Another factor to consider is your usual daily energy level to perform tasks. If you are a morning person (lark), load up in your AM routines, but lighten up in the evening. If you are a night own, by all means make your evening routines larger.

By knowing and understanding your daily patterns you will be well on your way to make transitions in your life. 

 
* BJ Fogg, a professor at Stamford University is working on the Tiny Habit project. Read more about it here. I would like to thank my colleague Margaret Lukens for her insight into this program.

Do Two More

 This guest post is by Michelle Peralta of The Run-Down

Two more minutes reading, two more sheets to fold, two more reps at the gym, two more minutes on the phone with an old  friend, two more minutes on yourself.

Apply this wherever you see fit. I started at the gym.  Just two more squats, two more minutes running, two more push-ups. It kind of revs you up a bit, because you really want to finish strong and make it worth it. You eventually see and feel results; physically and mentally. Where do you think can you apply Two More?


Michelle Peralta is an Arizona Blogger who enjoys writing about fitness, food and finding balance. Visit her blog at  The Run-Down