Wake Up!

Have you ever felt like you were really out of it? Meaning life in general. I have been on a hiatus of sorts since August 24, 2022 when I was hospitalized for Acute Pancreatitis. I spent 39 days in hospital basically on my back, eleven of those days were spent in the ICU. I was finally released home in mid-October, but had to have daily infusions in my newly installed picc line (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) in my arm. This meant I was essentially homebound and my daily activities of living were those of par of an extremely elderly person. Alas, I had reached Life Stage 15 of my own Life Stage Scale.  I had to go back later in the same month to a hospital in San Francisco for another endoscopic (ECRP) procedure. I, then, had to I had to learn how to walk again and gain my strength to do the simplest things such as walk to the mailbox and climb a few steps. I was all set to resume my life, but then I got Covid a week before Thanksgiving (USA) 2022. Covid recovery took about a month and I was finally imagining life was going to get better. In early January, I got Shingles affecting my mid back and right side. Fortunately I was able to get medication which reduced the severity and have plans to get my shingle shot at the end of April 2023. In February 2023, I was finally able to travel and take a trip and had an enjoyable time, but came back with Covid for the second time in mid-February 2023. 

So what does my tale of woe mean to my starting title of Wake Up? I feel like I have been asleep at the wheel of life since August 2022 and I am now finally ready to wake up! I have focused on the essentials and only that since August 2022. Those essentials come down to Five Things  which have been Getting Healthy, Staying Healthy, Practicing Self-Care, Saying No and Being kind to the people in my life right now. Now, it is the time to go back on my own blog and learn some things about transitioning my own life. I am ready to wake up!

Links to my various blog articles for those experiencing a medical or disaster event of backsliding proportion.

Backsliding: Why we all need to understand this concept! 

Time to Rest

Maybe - Five is All You Can Handle

When Other Things Get In The Way

Should and Could's - let's think about this!

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your should's and could's 

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.


2. Delve into the should's and could's

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car 



3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components. 


4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about. 

For Example:

I should have said  ..... instead of ......
I could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)


Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.


This is a best of post from 2009.

Measuring Your Progress

There are times when you need to measure your progress on your journey. You can do this at certain points of times during every transition. Here are some suggested time and then some questions for you to ask yourself.  The potential times to do this are:


Four months after a move
Two months after graduating college
Three months into a new job
Two months after retiring
One year after the loss of a loved one
Six months after getting married


What has been accomplished? 

What is there left to do? 

What has been learned? 

How have you changed?

How are things different than you expected?

What do you know now that you did not know then about yourself? (Example: You are skilled in packing fragile items)


Reviewing and reflecting can help you get a fresh perspective and grasp of where you are and what you have accomplished. I encourage you to take some time to size things up. It can be revitalizing and give you some more energy to move forward.

What's Most Important to You?

Do you take time out to think about what is most important to you? Do you take life as it comes or do you make life what you want it to be? There may be no right or wrong answers to these two questions, however those who fail to plan, often find their life results less than they desire.

I have found taking “formal planned  time” to focus on what is most important to you is key to creating the life you want.Taking time out from your day-to-day activities can be tricky and complicated, especially if you lead a busy life. However, if you are a busy person, then taking time out is as easy as making an appointment or two with yourself. A few hours will likely be enough for you to create a clearer understanding of where you want to go.

Individuals who are focused can pre-plan their “future vision session” .  They can do this by creating a list of questions to consider during the session.  This will allow a more focused and directed time. However, if you are a person who has trouble focusing, working with a life coach for a few sessions might be the key to creating the life you want. The life coach can help you by asking great questions, and then you can find your own answers.

Terry now provides life coaching services. Check out her website for more details.

Moving On

I recently came across a little paperback version of the book After The Move, Growing Roots in a New Community  by Judith Lechman.  This book published  by Lion in 1990 stands the test of time.

As someone who has moved over 20 times in my life, it really resonated about the mental aspects of moving. Moving requires physical strength and tenacity, but to me the most difficult part about moving is the mental part.

Judith's book discuses what she calls the 4 D's of moving. They are Being Disorientation, Being Disorganization, Being Discouraged and Being Disconnected.

Moving into a new home, creates disorientation. We have to learn a new floor plan, find new providers of services such as grocery stores, pharmacy and medical providers. All these are in locations unfamiliar to us, which means we have to learn how to get to and from our new home to theses new places.

When we move into a new home or apartment, we have to store our things usually in different places. This creates disorganization. Knowing that we have silverware is one thing, but knowing and familiarizing ourselves with the storage location is another.

Moving can be discouraging. We have to commit hours of unpacking and organizing of our stuff. We have to adjust to our new job, or community. Judith suggests we don't look at the whole picture, instead focus on one chore at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow, just focus on what needs to be done today.

When we move to a new community we are immediately disconnected. "Moving can be painfully lonely. It cuts us off from our past, isolates us from the present, and detaches us from the future." While this feeling is normal, we need to start to reach out within our new unity to expand our friendships and broaden our experiences. This happens best when we approach it with a positive attitude.

So if you are about to move, or have just moved. Take heart in understanding the "4 D's" and you will soon be feeling more at home in your new community.

 

The Year In Review

Now is a great time to review the 2017 calendar and see the postive progress you have made in life's transitions, challenges and changes.

What have you accomplished?

What is on track in your life?

What is new and a positive addition to your life that you did not see or imagine last year?

Take some time to do this exercise so you can be aware of your accomplishments. You may want to consider creating an accomplishment journal. This is a great tool to see your life's transitions and changes.

Being Positive in a Negative World

It is hard to stay positive when we are filled with negativity. Recently I've noticed more negative conversations around the world's water coolers. How can we remain or become positive?

Balance Out your Media 
Avoid watching too much daily news.  Reduce your media consumption by 20 percent. Seek out positive blogs or select an uplifting book instead.  Listen to some soothing instrumental music instead of listening to talk and dialogue.

Look at Nature
Put down the cell phone or pad and look at the sky, feel the wind, savor the weather.

Smile More
Individuals who smile are more likely to be received in a positive light. In others words, we get what we give.

Be Positive where you can
Say thank you, your welcome and really mean it . Work on your inflections.

Appreciate and Play with your Pets
Pet's are great stress relievers. Spend some time watching or hanging out with them.


Realize you can't necessarily change the world, but you can change yourself and your attitude.

Traffic Light Thinking

The traffic light is a great metaphor for reviewing where you are in terms of  creativity or project development. 

Creativity – Everyone is creative in their own way. You can look at your personal or professional creatively in terms of the traffic light. Are you being creative and flowing, as in being in the green light? Or are you in a cautionary or transitional phase as in yellow. Maybe you are at a stopping point and are at the red light waiting for time or inspiration. Again the secret is to be aware and clear on where you are in terms of the traffic light.

Project Development – Are you at a standstill? Have you come to a red light? Did you hit a full stop?  Are you at a transitional time when you are in caution mode? Are you in the flow with the green light going full speed ahead? Knowing where you are on a project, in terms of the traffic light,  is a helpful tool for monitoring your activity and progress.

Where you are at the traffic light is a great tool for understanding your productivity and creative status. Green may be good, but too much green may be exhausting and unhealthy.  A long time at yellow may mean you are in a transition and may need to try other things. This could include seek help from others such as a coach or make some required changes. Being in the red may be frustrating, but it can also be the well-needed rest. Red can also be the warning sign to make some changes

Try using the traffic light metaphor in measuring or examining some of your projects or activities. Let me know what you think.

This is a post from my blog Terry's Thinking 

A Decade of Blogging

How can it be ten years since I first started blogging? Where did the time go? What have I learned? What should I have learned? What is next?

I started my blog in 2007 as a holding place for my thoughts on transitions.

This Site is for testing ideas and thoughts before setting out on your next journey, whether it be a career change, new family, or even post-retirement.

The goal of my site is to keep it simple, keep it short -- occasional postings under 300 words.

Where did the time go?

Over these 10 years, I have moved from the valley flatlands to the mountains, watched my children graduate from various educational programs and thrive and face challenges in their own career paths. I have changed my client focus to be more phone and virtual, taken many courses and classes, taken care of my amazing father through his passing in 2013, traveled across the USA, Europe, the Caribbean, and Mexico. I have even served as a bridesmaid at a BFF's wedding.  I have celebrated big birthdays and anniversaries with my loving spouse. I have lost some friends and family as well as our beloved dog. I have made some new friends in my new residential community as well as in some new business ventures. 

What have I learned?

What have I learned, life is full of twists and turns, life is change, and everything is subject to change. Change is inevitable,  but how you go through change and transition is the real challenge. You can go with grace and tenacity or you can fight and complain. Grace is better, but finding grace in moments of change is what makes you need the tenacity to persevere. 

What should I have learned?

I should have put photos or drawings on my blog, and I should have learned photoshop. I should have used an editor to proofread and perfect the grammar on my blog.  I should have commented on more blogs on a regular basis to build my audience and create a community. I might have learned how to monetize my blog so as to create passive income. 

What is next?

Well, maybe all of what I should have learned is what is next. In addition, I will start to learn to count. My blog can be over 300 words, but never more than 700 words. Maybe I am slow at learning all this, but I am sure the future holds more promise if I remember to be tenacious and live with grace.  

Time for a Calendar Review!

Have you reviewed your calendar lately? A calendar review is a great way to get insight into your productivity. To do this helpful exercise, open up your online or paper calendar and review your past 12 months of listed activities.

• Do you have significant and functional social time with friends, family and loved ones?
• Have you included physical exercise and healthy activities to reach your health and fitness goals?
• Are you including enrichment and life long learning activities into your schedule?
• Are the associations and organizations that you belong to and attending fulfilling your needs?

Your calendar can give you valuable data into how you are spending your time. It can also flag activities that you list but do not attend. Take some time to review your calendar, it will be time well spent.

This is an earlier 2012 post from my Terry's Thinking Blog, well worth revisiting this time of year.  

Changes and Challenges

Now is a great time to review the 2016 calendar and see the progress you have made in life's transitions, challenges and changes.

What have you accomplished?

What is on track in your life?

What is new and a positive addition to your life that you did not see or imagine last year?

Take some time to do this exercise so you can be aware of your accomplishments. You may want to consider creating an accomplishment journal. This is a great tool to see your life's transitions and changes.

Get Ready To Be Ready

The expression Ready, Set, Go is likely an adaptation of the prompt On Your Mark, Get Set, Go used by a variety of racing fields (swimming, running) to prepare their participants for action. 


We can use the Ready, Set, Go to prepare our day or even our life for upcoming changes.

Being Ready

To be ready we can prepare our tools, equipment, and even our physical being for the upcoming action. We can improve our knowledge on the subject, increase our skills and education. We can prepare our body for the upcoming physical actions or anticipated requirements by eating nutritious and healthy foods. 


Getting Set

While getting set means getting on the "mark" in the physical racing world, we can get our brain on the mark, by being in the right mindset. This includes being truly focused on what is before us. By avoiding distracting veins of thought we can be instead set on our upcoming event. We can also actively work to prevent beginning conversations in our minds that get our emotional being unsettled. 


Going On

The Go part of is the first step on your new path. Take a deep breath and begin. Since you have already done the Ready and the Set it is likely that the Go part will be the easiest.    



Getting ready and set are by far the most important parts of making a transition.  Be prepared to spend some time and do some work to fulfill the preparation of "Ready" and "Set".   


Have you used Ready, Set, Go in your life transitions?  

This is a best of post - from 2010.

Walking The Talk

I work with a wonderful coach weekly to keep myself on track. Over the years, I have come to know this weekly 45 minute session will get me into the present mindset and give myself a dedicated time to review my progress, plan my week with intention and stay the course.

Working with my coach is deeply personal. My time with my coach lets me come to the realization that I sometimes need to make changes that I have been procrastinating about. On occasion, my coach, gently helps me normalize a chaotic situation or gives me the ability to look at a situation in a new light. In other words, my work with my coach allows me to look at different perspectives of the issue.

A coach is a valuable addition to your life. I wanted to let you know I really walk the talk. I still offer coaching and transition coaching services, contact me if you have questions.

Celebrating One's Return

It has been a long time since my last post. I have been doing some extreme caretaking and then dealing with the loss of a loved one. Certain things take a long while to process and attend to. It is nice to finally be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

What I have learned is transitions can sometimes take a lot of time and emotional toil. Some transitions are easy and others complex and painful. Regardless of which kind of transition one goes through, time is usually the best prescription for forward progress.   

My progress has been aided by a good support system, great friends and professionals such as hospice care and my ever helpful life coach. Even a transition expert needs some help.

I look forward to more frequent updates on my blog. Comments always welcome.

Ahead or Behind?

There are days when we think we are "ahead" and days when we are falling "behind". On the best of days we are right where we are suppose to be.

Here are some strategies to help you: 

When you are Ahead

First, mentally acknowledge yourself for being at the "ahead" stage rather than the "behind" phase. Second, take some time to build in a well earned break. Third, review the elements of your success. Sometimes we have developed new skills that have allowed us to move forward. Glean these as takeaways for the future.


When you are Behind

First take a deep breath, acknowledge where you are. Realize that this will not be forever.Second, spend some time working on strategies. How you might speed up, or move your project along? Sometimes we have to pull out of other unnecessary or less important activities to reach a project goal.Third, seek help. Many times we fall behind because we fail to enlist help. Sometimes that is what we need to move forward.

This is a best of post from 2010.

Resizing Your World

When in transition we often shrink our daily contacts down to the less stressful, more peaceful ones. We do this for self protection and to also help make our days calmer. Going through transition takes peace, quiet and often solitude.

Transition is a time to try new things and acquaint ourselves with new people and new ideas. Finding new people isn't always that easy but often times this is when we go back to our roots and seek out those who meant something to us in terms of friendship and personal and professional development. This needs to be done selectively and carefully. Missteps are abound here if you don't set personal boundaries with yourself on this adventure.

Resizing your world takes time and careful thought. Sometimes it time to shrink the contact list and other times it is time to grow and expand the list.

Whatever time it is for you, take it careful and slow. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day.

This is a best of post from 2007.

Look at "Shoulds" and "Coulds"

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your shoulds and coulds

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.


2. Delve into the shoulds and coulds

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car



3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components.


4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about.

For Example:

I should have said  ..... instead of ......
I could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)


Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.


This is a best of post from 2009.

Changing Your Mind

There are times in life when we find ourselves changing our minds about certain things. These changes can mean we have found new insights or ways of dealing with things or feelings.

A change of mind can be because you have comprehended a different perspective, felt more aware or differently about something.

When have you changed your mind about something?

Going Forward

Researching and learning new things takes time. Often it is two steps forward and one step back. We learn in little bits and pieces.

Being willing to learn is the first step. Being willing to fail is also an important piece of learning new things.

Remember a journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step.

What one step can you take to begin your new journey?

This is a best of post from 2009

Conference Craziness

I have recently had the opportunity to view a variety of conferences while staying at a hotel, while my spouse attended an industry conference. While each conference is unique, it is interesting to see the range of differences between them. There are the serious ones, the "gigglers", the big "ah hah" and the "drained and strained ones".

Two recent movies that present conferences or conventions come to mind; Cedar Rapids (2011) and Up In The Air (2009). The first movie depict an insurance association and it's various events over a few days. Up In The Air shows more of a motivational reward "party" session.

Conferences are a great time to catch up with familiar colleagues, as well as make introductions to newcomers and network all around. Regardless of the type of conference you are attending, a smile helps convey energy and interest. Help yourself and others by spreading smiles.