Moving On

I recently came across a little paperback version of the book After The Move, Growing Roots in a New Community  by Judith Lechman.  This book published  by Lion in 1990 stands the test of time.

As someone who has moved over 20 times in my life, it really resonated about the mental aspects of moving. Moving requires physical strength and tenacity, but to me the most difficult part about moving is the mental part.

Judith's book discuses what she calls the 4 D's of moving. They are Being Disorientation, Being Disorganization, Being Discouraged and Being Disconnected.

Moving into a new home, creates disorientation. We have to learn a new floor plan, find new providers of services such as grocery stores, pharmacy and medical providers. All these are in locations unfamiliar to us, which means we have to learn how to get to and from our new home to theses new places.

When we move into a new home or apartment, we have to store our things usually in different places. This creates disorganization. Knowing that we have silverware is one thing, but knowing and familiarizing ourselves with the storage location is another.

Moving can be discouraging. We have to commit hours of unpacking and organizing of our stuff. We have to adjust to our new job, or community. Judith suggests we don't look at the whole picture, instead focus on one chore at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow, just focus on what needs to be done today.

When we move to a new community we are immediately disconnected. "Moving can be painfully lonely. It cuts us off from our past, isolates us from the present, and detaches us from the future." While this feeling is normal, we need to start to reach out within our new unity to expand our friendships and broaden our experiences. This happens best when we approach it with a positive attitude.

So if you are about to move, or have just moved. Take heart in understanding the "4 D's" and you will soon be feeling more at home in your new community.

 

Time to Listen More

Now is a good time for us to listen. The holiday season brings many social gatherings and events. Listen more and learn. Instead of delving right into a conversation, spend more time in listening mode. This may give you an opportunity for deeper communications in the long run.

Let's say you are attending a neighbor's party. When you choose to listen instead of providing small talk, you can find out all types of information. This event could provide you with the knowledge that:  your friend Sally has just purchased a new car, Jody was laid off and is in need of a new job,Margie is worried about her aging parents, Martha is looking for help with social media for her new business.

All this information gleaned at the neighborhood party can then translate to Sally has an old car to sell.  Jody, who needs a job, can be referred to Martha who needs some help with social media. Margie, with the aging parents, might just need an ear to vent, or she may need some local resources you have to share.

When you listen deeply, you can potentially give the gift of helping move things along, make a job connection or give much needed comfort and assistance. Being a good listener takes extra work and effort, but it really can pay out healthy dividends for yourself, your friends and your community.

Changing Your Mind

There are times in life when we find ourselves changing our minds about certain things. These changes can mean we have found new insights or ways of dealing with things or feelings.

A change of mind can be because you have comprehended a different perspective, felt more aware or differently about something.

When have you changed your mind about something?

Take the First Steps

At the beginning of the new year, resolutions abound. To keep yourself going, ask yourself "What are the first steps I need to take to begin working on my resolution?". Take for example, the resolution of eating healthy in 2012 - Your first step might be to create a weekly menu and post it on your refrigerator. If exercise is going to be one of your resolutions, putting on your exercise shoes at some point in your day will be a first step component each time you start your exercise regime.

Knowing your first steps is important in making a transition. These first steps may be elusive for some resolutions, but take some time to think them out and you will have a key component of making a change.

What are some of your first steps for your resolutions?

Change Your Attitude

Change and transition's are generally difficult. If you have been involuntarily made to change, a change of attitude may make a big difference.

Three ways to change or transition your attitude:

1. Try looking at things with a perspective outside of yourself.
2. Visualize a good outcome and rethink strategically how to get to that place.
3. Be grateful you have to experience this discomfort and appreciate the insightful lesson's you will learn.

Growth comes from change. Start with changing your attitude. You will enjoy the journey much more.

Read about other concepts of change

What Can You Change?

Let's think about change. What can you change? Here is an A - Z  list. Some of these I'll explore in subsequent posts.

Change your Attitude
Change your Behavior
Change your Communication Style
Change your Delegation Techniques
Change your Environment
Change your Finances
Change your Focus
Change your Goals
Change your Habits
Change your I's into We's
Change your Judgments
Change your Karma
Change your Listening Patterns
Change your Mission
Change your Mindset
Change your Messages
Change your No's intoYes's
Change your Outlook
Change your Patterns
Change your Perspective
Change your Position
Change your Productivity
Change your Questions
Change your Relationships
Change your Routines
Change your Should and Coulds
Change your State of Mind
Change your Strengths
Change your Thinking
Change your Time Management Practices
Change your Understanding
Change your Viewpoint
Change your Walls into Windows
Change your eXcitement Level
Change your Zen



You might also enjoy reading these past posts on change.

Listen to Grow
Winds of Change
Time to Prune
Making Headway Towards Where We Want To Go

Change sometimes Crashes In

It has been very hectic here, hence the lack of postings. In the last few weeks, we have moved from the flatlands to the foothills, experienced the loss of two relatives and a very close family friend, had another relative experience a life threatening illness and hospitalization, assisted our son with his dental dilemmas, and had a car repair and a computer crash. There may be more, but I think this 4 week period will remain a blur of change in our lives for a long time.  

I certainly believe that Murphy's Law is true.  Anything that can go wrong will. On the bright side things seem to be getting better. Attitude is everything.

Stuck and Stagnant

Life sometimes pulls us into the dismal pond of stagnation.

Stagnation is painful, messy and like quicksand can suck us down into the depths of despair. Stagnation happens to everyone at some point or another. The pond is usually stinky and the time spent in it is not pleasant. Remember it won't be forever, although, it may seem like it at the time.


How can we get out of the pond of stagnation?


1. First, realize we are in the pond!

2. Take stock of the good things going on, despite the mess we are in.

3. Take the focus off ourselves and pay attention to the world for a while. We can do this by reading a book, researching something new, by walking and taking in the scenery.

4. Smile even though we may not want to. Our smiling disposition will likely bring more positive attention to us rather than the continuity in our negative state.

5. Seek out and utilize a variety of help and guidance. This may include reconnecting to our faith, trusted friends and even seeking out the help of professionals.

How have you handled stagnation?

This is a best of post from 2009

Start The Loving Attitude

February is the month for love. Here is a simple idea to transition your life and relationships. 

Start to give your family the gift of your "self" this month. Smile daily, give good morning and good night hugs. Look directly into family members' eyes when you are communicating with them in person. Listen to each family member with a loving heart. Stop the mental rush in your head as well as the physical rush in your heart. This gift starts with your attitude. Practice giving the gift of your "self" this month then give this gift regularly for a lifetime.

Time to Prune

When we need to make room for something new, pruning out the unnecessary or expired is an important task. 

Having an annual pruning of your workspace is helpful to free up room, clear out the dust and recover empty space. The same applies for our house and living spaces.


What is no longer serving you? What can you prune out of your life to make room for something in the future?

You might search for dust. Dusty things have not been used in a while. You could also look for torn, worn, too small, to big or frayed. If the things in your environment are not in good shape, maybe they need to go.

Pruning allows new growth to begin. So start pruning and get ready for new beginnings and growth.

What's it all about?

If you are a new viewer here at Transition Your Life, you may be wondering what this blog is all about.

This blog is about change and making transition. It is here to serve as a mental prompt or idea generator for you, when you are experiencing a life transition.  This means you could also be starting on a change, in the middle of a change,  or even just pondering change. 

Change is what we all do. The only thing constant is change. Change is seldom easy.

When I started my blog in August of 2007, I wrote:

This Site is for testing ideas and thoughts before setting out on your next journey, whether it be a career change, new family, or even post retirement.

The goal of my site is to keep it simple, keep it short -- occasional postings under 300 words. 
 
So I think I have been keeping up with the concept. Keep reading.

Resizing Your World

When in transition we often shrink our daily contacts down to the less stressful, more peaceful ones. We do this for self protection and to also help make our days calmer. Going through transition takes peace, quiet and often solitude.

Transition is a time to try new things and acquaint ourselves with new people and new ideas. Finding new people isn't always that easy but often times this is when we go back to our roots and seek out those who meant something to us in terms of friendship and personal and professional development. This needs to be done selectively and carefully. Missteps are abound here if you don't set personal boundaries with yourself on this adventure.

Resizing your world takes time and careful thought. Sometimes it time to shrink the contact list and other times it is time to grow and expand the list.

Whatever time it is for you, take it careful and slow. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day.

This is a best of post from 2007 

Things of the Past

Time to clear out the dusty and old, to make room for the new. Today, I am looking at how to handle past office and business material. Business owners who have been in business for over 10 years, know that the material starts to acquire. This is especially true if you haven't changed your office location in over 5 years. The following might help you when clearing out the past from your office.


Non Serving Usage
Outdated expired, no longer relevant items come to mind. I ran across a hidden pile of blank outdated forms. These found a home in the recycling bin.

Former Client Files and Material
If you have been in business a while, it is likely you understand the value of record retention. I have a five year client policy. However sometimes material is a useful template or example for other things. This is where a template vs. a client file becomes of value. Transitioning files over to templates, maintains your record retention plan and helps you understand the importance of what you have learned, created or observed.

Example/Template Files 
Even example or template files can become overwhelming or overfilled. Periodic clearings can help prevent overload.   


Aging Technology
I recently disposed of a plethora of floppy disks containing financial information. Of course, I had to make them unusable first - this took time. Some never used disks I donated to my community through freecycle.


Historical Reminders
Not all old items are unwanted. I ran across an old newsletter from an association that had a wealth of memories, and brought up a few "I need to call that person" notes to add to my to do list. After I added that, it was easy to toss the material. Sometimes I found information that was useful for my business time line. So I placed that in my time line pile. Stay tune for more on this in the next few months.

Historically Significant
Occasionally you may run across some items of ephemera, that might be of value to your community or business community. It helps to understand the concept of ephemera. Check out my article on my website for information on this topic.   



By keeping the above in mind, you may have an easier time of clearing out. Business Anniversaries are a cause for celebration, and a good time to make time to clear out the past, to make room for the new.

October is Terry Prince's business anniversary month. Terry started her business in October of 1983.

 

Opening The Door

One of my readers, recently commented privately to me, that "sometimes you need to open the door when you hit the wall".

"Opening the Door" means looking out at new options and opportunities. It can also mean taking a look outside for awhile and then deciding to step back to where you feel comfortable and at home. Sometimes it is nothing ventured, nothing gained. Then again, it can be a useful exercise to review and analyze where you are now.

Check out my earlier post on Hitting the Wall.

Hitting the Wall

Every once in a while we hit a wall in our life. Hitting the wall means we have reached an impasse without a "door" or "window". This is when we have to backtrack, change our attitude or stay within the confines of our current situation. However, staying within the confines of our restricted space for a prolonged time may not be beneficial for our mental health.


We can hit the wall due to employment limitations, current circle of friends, relationship changes, or even environmental limitations. Think people places or things! All of these three categories can contribute to hitting the wall.

Acknowledging that you have hit the wall is the first step. Being patience with yourself is critical at this time. Looking for alternative solutions may take longer than you hoped for. It may also be not the choice you want to choose, but one that is the best for you in the long run. Most importantly remember change takes time and is a challenge.

An End is Really A Beginning

Throughout our lives we have endings. These endings can be the end of a job, relationship, or even the way we do something. Endings are usually messy. They are never really clean cut, neat or organized. Very few endings are easy. Endings, of course, are the end, but they are also the onset of the beginning.

To get a handle on endings, the first step is to realize you are at the "end". By having a mental conversation with yourself, you are beginning the process of your grieving. I am not saying you have to like this conversation, but once you begin it, you are on your way.

The stages of grief are well outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Kübler-Ross's five stages are not nice and neat but often involve meandering around in one stage or another.

Getting back to the beginning, one may grieve, but one also learns many new things during this end and beginning phase of life. This is the time in our life that causes us to try new things, experience new thoughts and make changes in our daily routines and patterns. This is not to say it is going to be all fun. If we can, however, imagine the opportunities we now have to unexpectedly experience, we may be able to think of the end as an unexpected gift. Perhaps this is the only gift to come out of loss. But it is a gift, none the less.

Look Elsewhere

What does looking elsewhere have to do with transition? Sometimes we focus too much on inner selves that we neglect to take a good look at the environment and people around us.

Here is a reminder:


Look at People
Who are the people who make your day special? They can be your family members, friends, neighbors and of course your pets. People can also be the providers of service we routinely count on. By focusing on them instead of our "self" we can change our attitude, learn new things and move forward.   

Look at Places
Take some time to observe where you are. Look at the buildings, trees and sky. Our visual senses can bring us great relief from every day sameness. Look with new "eyes" and really see where you are. 



Look at Things
Spend some time looking at your surroundings with deeper vision. Really look at the mug on your desk. Observe the stapler. Contemplate your phone. When we look with intent we often see things in a brand new light.


Looking elsewhere is one of the ways to make a transition in your thoughts, attitude and  mindset.

Another method is by listening. You may find this previous post about sound helpful. Stillness and Silence.


Let me know how some of these exercises go in transitioning your mind.

Forgiving Oneself

Last week I had an unwelcome surprise. While walking my dog, I slipped and broke my ankle. At the onset, while I was in a good amount of pain, I also spend a fair amount of time, internally scolding myself for my foolishness.

Looking back, I see that I may have experienced twice as much "pain", more than I really needed. My "slip slide" on the pavement was a mistake, not by intention. Sometimes we let our guard down and things just happen.

The ankle is healing, and I am hobbling along. From this experience, I know I will again be more wary of the puddles in my path and the way I treat myself when I make a mistake.

Transition Your Life - Seniorhood

This is the fifth in the series of posts on transition times. Let's visit the transition periods that often occur in senior adulthood (age 70 - 90).

Transitioning to a smaller home or retirement living
Transitioning to grandchildren and great-grandchildren
Transitioning to loss of a loved one
Transitioning to patriarch or matriarch of family
Transitioning to retirement
Transitioning to part time or volunteer work
Transitioning to evolving spiritual or religious beliefs
Transitioning to a new or chronic health condition
Transitioning to caretaker role for adult child or grandchildren
Transitioning to having married children/grandchildren and in-law relationships
Transitioning to financial gain/financial loss
Transitioning to changing relationships with your children (adult to elderly parent)
Transitioning to common aging conditions (vision and mobility concerns)
Transitioning to family historian
Transitioning to new hobbies and changing interests

See also
Transition Your Life - Adulthood
Transition Your Life - Early Adulthood
Transition Your Life - Middle Age
Transition Your Life - Golden Age

Transition Your Life - Golden Age

This is the fourth in the series of posts on transition times. Let's visit the transition periods that often occur in adulthood (age 60 - 72).

Transitioning to a smaller home
Transitioning to grandchildren and great-grandchildren
Transitioning to loss of a loved one
Transitioning to approaching retirement
Transitioning to retirement
Transitioning to career change
Transitioning to job loss
Transitioning to evolving spiritual or religious beliefs
Transitioning to a new or chronic health condition
Transitioning to caretaker for parent(s)or grandchildren
Transitioning to having college age children
Transitioning to having married children and in-law relationships
Transitioning to changing relationships with your parents (adult to elderly parent)
Transitioning to financial gain/financial loss
Transitioning to changing relationships with your children (adult to adult)

What other transitions do you think happen during this time period?

See also
Transition Your Life - Adulthood
Transition Your Life - Early Adulthood
Transition Your Life - Middle Age