Getting Support

I've been thinking about how we can get support from those around us.  First, let's look at who does support us. The first names that come to mind are our loved one, our spouse, family members or parents. Next,  we may think of friends, neighbors, church and association members. Also on our list might be our co-workers and colleagues.

Each of us have a form of support that that I would like to call our Transactional Support Team. These are individuals who are in our lives due to some type of transaction. They can include our hairstylist, bank teller, checkout clerk, or postal/package delivery person.  Sometimes all we need is an acknowledgment of our existence, a chat about the weather or a friendly hello.

Who is on your Transactional Support Team?

Say No Now to Move Forward

Do you have looming deadlines? Now is the time to say No! You don't have to be mean, you just have to be firm. Say no to the unnecessary and the unneeded. You can also say no to the much later and not required now.

Focus on what is needed now. Don't look for new projects or let them find you. When you have looming deadlines it is just the nature of the beast that exciting shiny projects will come charging in. This is always the time they will come looking for you, they really will. Be prepared.  Don't let them in you head. Don't put them on your desk or desk top to distract you from your deadline.

Are you about to finish up the school year? Are you almost three weeks away from deadline? This is truly the time to take the words above in the top two paragraphs to heart. Say No now to move forward.

Coping with the Unexpected

Are you in troubled waters? Has life thrown you a curve ball? Both of these are metaphors for unplanned and unexpected changes and pending life transitions.

Here are four ways to help you cope with the unexpected.

1)  Acknowledge you are going through a tough time.

2) Make a resolve to take care of your physical self. Eat well, continue or step up the exercise. Get plenty of sleep.

3) Be aware of your mental and emotional health. When times are tough we usually experience stress on an extreme level. This causes us to experience more emotions and creates more mental anxiety. Be willing to seek the advise of physical and mental health professionals to help you get you through theses trying times if you find you are not coping well.

4) Don't go it alone. Seek out friends and family to confide and communicate with. A transition coach can also be part of the assistance you may need to help you through this time. 

What's it all about?

If you are a new viewer here at Transition Your Life, you may be wondering what this blog is all about.

This blog is about change and making transition. It is here to serve as a mental prompt or idea generator for you, when you are experiencing a life transition.  This means you could also be starting on a change, in the middle of a change,  or even just pondering change. 

Change is what we all do. The only thing constant is change. Change is seldom easy.

When I started my blog in August of 2007, I wrote:

This Site is for testing ideas and thoughts before setting out on your next journey, whether it be a career change, new family, or even post retirement.

The goal of my site is to keep it simple, keep it short -- occasional postings under 300 words. 
 
So I think I have been keeping up with the concept. Keep reading.

An End is Really A Beginning

Throughout our lives we have endings. These endings can be the end of a job, relationship, or even the way we do something. Endings are usually messy. They are never really clean cut, neat or organized. Very few endings are easy. Endings, of course, are the end, but they are also the onset of the beginning.

To get a handle on endings, the first step is to realize you are at the "end". By having a mental conversation with yourself, you are beginning the process of your grieving. I am not saying you have to like this conversation, but once you begin it, you are on your way.

The stages of grief are well outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Kübler-Ross's five stages are not nice and neat but often involve meandering around in one stage or another.

Getting back to the beginning, one may grieve, but one also learns many new things during this end and beginning phase of life. This is the time in our life that causes us to try new things, experience new thoughts and make changes in our daily routines and patterns. This is not to say it is going to be all fun. If we can, however, imagine the opportunities we now have to unexpectedly experience, we may be able to think of the end as an unexpected gift. Perhaps this is the only gift to come out of loss. But it is a gift, none the less.

Stuck and Stagnant

Life sometimes pulls us into the dismal pond of stagnation.

Stagnation is painful, messy and like quicksand can suck us down into the depths of despair. Stagnation happens to everyone at some point or another. The pond is usually stinky and the time spent in it is not pleasant. Remember it won't be forever, although, it may seem like it at the time.


How can we get out of the pond of stagnation?


1. First, realize we are in the pond!

2. Take stock of the good things going on, despite the mess we are in.

3. Take the focus off ourselves and pay attention to the world for a while. We can do this by reading a book, researching something new, by walking and taking in the scenery.

4. Smile even though we may not want to. Our smiling disposition will likely bring more positive attention to us rather than the continuity in our negative state.

5. Seek out and utilize a variety of help and guidance. This may include reconnecting to our faith, trusted friends and even seeking out the help of professionals.

How have you handled stagnation?

Transition Your Life - Adulthood

This is the second in the series of posts on transition times. Let's visit the transition periods that often occur in adulthood (age 30 - 40).

Transitioning to having a child
Transitioning to having a teenager
Transitioning to accepting infertility
Transitioning to a new skill or hobby
Transitioning to the loss of parent(s) or loved ones
Transitioning to the loss of a relationship
Transitioning to a career change
Transitioning to new neighbors
Transitioning to having a chronic health condition
Transitioning to new home
Transitioning to job loss
Transitioning to evolving spiritual or religious beliefs
Transitioning to financial losses/financial gains
Transitioning to changing relationships with your parents (adult to adult)


Life is a journey, you don't have to go it alone. Having a transition coach can be the best decision and investment you can make.

See also Transition Your Life - Early Adulthood

Being your own best friend

You can be your own best friend by:


Taking care of your mental, emotional and basic physical needs

Taking time out for yourself when you need it

Removing and extracting yourself from stress and overload

Being able to say no when you have had enough

Treating yourself as well as you treat others

Work on improving who you are on a daily basis

Asking for help and support from other friends when you need it

Being patience with yourself