Wake Up!

Have you ever felt like you were really out of it? Meaning life in general. I have been on a hiatus of sorts since August 24, 2022 when I was hospitalized for Acute Pancreatitis. I spent 39 days in hospital basically on my back, eleven of those days were spent in the ICU. I was finally released home in mid-October, but had to have daily infusions in my newly installed picc line (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) in my arm. This meant I was essentially homebound and my daily activities of living were those of par of an extremely elderly person. Alas, I had reached Life Stage 15 of my own Life Stage Scale.  I had to go back later in the same month to a hospital in San Francisco for another endoscopic (ECRP) procedure. I, then, had to I had to learn how to walk again and gain my strength to do the simplest things such as walk to the mailbox and climb a few steps. I was all set to resume my life, but then I got Covid a week before Thanksgiving (USA) 2022. Covid recovery took about a month and I was finally imagining life was going to get better. In early January, I got Shingles affecting my mid back and right side. Fortunately I was able to get medication which reduced the severity and have plans to get my shingle shot at the end of April 2023. In February 2023, I was finally able to travel and take a trip and had an enjoyable time, but came back with Covid for the second time in mid-February 2023. 

So what does my tale of woe mean to my starting title of Wake Up? I feel like I have been asleep at the wheel of life since August 2022 and I am now finally ready to wake up! I have focused on the essentials and only that since August 2022. Those essentials come down to Five Things  which have been Getting Healthy, Staying Healthy, Practicing Self-Care, Saying No and Being kind to the people in my life right now. Now, it is the time to go back on my own blog and learn some things about transitioning my own life. I am ready to wake up!

Links to my various blog articles for those experiencing a medical or disaster event of backsliding proportion.

Backsliding: Why we all need to understand this concept! 

Time to Rest

Maybe - Five is All You Can Handle

When Other Things Get In The Way

Moving On

I recently came across a little paperback version of the book After The Move, Growing Roots in a New Community  by Judith Lechman.  This book published  by Lion in 1990 stands the test of time.

As someone who has moved over 20 times in my life, it really resonated about the mental aspects of moving. Moving requires physical strength and tenacity, but to me the most difficult part about moving is the mental part.

Judith's book discuses what she calls the 4 D's of moving. They are Being Disorientation, Being Disorganization, Being Discouraged and Being Disconnected.

Moving into a new home, creates disorientation. We have to learn a new floor plan, find new providers of services such as grocery stores, pharmacy and medical providers. All these are in locations unfamiliar to us, which means we have to learn how to get to and from our new home to theses new places.

When we move into a new home or apartment, we have to store our things usually in different places. This creates disorganization. Knowing that we have silverware is one thing, but knowing and familiarizing ourselves with the storage location is another.

Moving can be discouraging. We have to commit hours of unpacking and organizing of our stuff. We have to adjust to our new job, or community. Judith suggests we don't look at the whole picture, instead focus on one chore at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow, just focus on what needs to be done today.

When we move to a new community we are immediately disconnected. "Moving can be painfully lonely. It cuts us off from our past, isolates us from the present, and detaches us from the future." While this feeling is normal, we need to start to reach out within our new unity to expand our friendships and broaden our experiences. This happens best when we approach it with a positive attitude.

So if you are about to move, or have just moved. Take heart in understanding the "4 D's" and you will soon be feeling more at home in your new community.

 

Making Time For Fun

Let's talk about having fun. Fun is something we all need to take seriously. After all, all work and no play is what makes a day dull and us boring.

How can you have fun Today? How can you make fun everyday a priority? Having fun is different for each of us. For some it may be reading a book, watching a favorite TV show or movie, using Pinterest or Facebook, playing solitaire, going for a walk or spending time talking on the phone to a friend or family member. 

It is especially important to set some time for fun when we are overloaded with a long "to do list" or complex project. Fun needs to be incorporated into our day when we are in the middle of a life transition or living through a stress filled period in our life such as when serving as a primary caregiver for an acutely ill person or child.  It may seem like a misuse of our time but the "fun break" or "Fun out" will make us more productive and effective in the long run.

When we schedule in fun, we maintain a good balance in our life. 

So what fun are you planning today?

This is a revised post from 2014

Say No Now to Move Forward

Do you have looming deadlines? Now is the time to say No! You don't have to be mean, you just have to be firm. Say no to the unnecessary and the unneeded. You can also say no to the much later and not required now.

Focus on what is needed now. Don't look for new projects or let them find you. When you have looming deadlines it is just the nature of the beast that exciting shiny projects will come charging in. This is always the time they will come looking for you, they really will. Be prepared.  Don't let them in you head. Don't put them on your desk or desk top to distract you from your deadline.

Are you about to finish up the school year? Are you almost three weeks away from deadline? This is truly the time to take the words above in the top two paragraphs to heart. Say No now to move forward.

Ahead or Behind?

There are days when we think we are "ahead" and days when we are falling "behind". On the best of days we are right where we are suppose to be.

Here are some strategies to help you: 

When you are Ahead

First, mentally acknowledge yourself for being at the "ahead" stage rather than the "behind" phase. Second, take some time to build in a well earned break. Third, review the elements of your success. Sometimes we have developed new skills that have allowed us to move forward. Glean these as takeaways for the future.


When you are Behind

First take a deep breath, acknowledge where you are. Realize that this will not be forever.Second, spend some time working on strategies. How you might speed up, or move your project along? Sometimes we have to pull out of other unnecessary or less important activities to reach a project goal.Third, seek help. Many times we fall behind because we fail to enlist help. Sometimes that is what we need to move forward.

This is a best of post from 2010.

Look at the Un's in Your Life

Let’s take  a moment to think about the “Un’s” in our lives? Here is a list of some “Un’s”:

Unfinished

Unused

Unresolved

Undecided

Misunderstood


How would it be if we had a day each week to look at the “Un’s” and work on them? What day would you choose?

To balance this exercise out you may also want to look at the "Done's" in your life. This can help bring you some extra encouragement.  


This is a modified post from my Terry's Thinking Blog

Hitting the Wall

Every once in a while we hit a wall in our life. Hitting the wall means we have reached an impasse without a "door" or "window". This is when we have to backtrack, change our attitude or stay within the confines of our current situation. However, staying within the confines of our restricted space for a prolonged time may not be beneficial for our mental health.

We can hit the wall due to employment limitations, current circle of friends, relationship changes, or even environmental limitations. Think people, places, or things! All of these three categories can contribute to hitting the wall.

Acknowledging that you have hit the wall is the first step. Being patience with yourself is critical at this time. Looking for alternative solutions may take longer than you hoped for. It may also be not the choice you want to choose, but one that is the best for you in the long run. Most importantly remember change takes time and is a challenge.

This is a best of post from 2010.

Restore Yourself

What do you do to do solo rest and rejuvenate yourself? For me I rejuvenate by reading a book, talking a walk, looking out my windows at nature (be it at the sky or in the tree's). I also work on taking a break - such as going to a cafe for a cup of coffee, or even enjoy taking a  stroll in the produce section of the grocery store.

In my mid twenties, one of my favorite breaks was driving to a country nursery and wondering around the plants and indoor greenhouse. In my college years, I went to the Dewitt Mall and ordered chocolate cake, sitting solo with my thought. On a good weather day I would go up the hill to the Johnson Museum and observe the art on display. If I was short of time I would go to the snack bar on my own campus and order a bagel and cream cheese.

When I worked in New York City in the early 80's, I would, weather permitting, go to the park with the waterfall wall and eat a sandwich at lunchtime. In the rainier or cooler times I would go into the then Citibank atrium and enjoy the chatter of fellow restaurant and cafe patrons and savor a cup of coffee.The reason for me telling these tales is to get you to think about what you do, primarily in solitude, to restore yourself.


These days, I look out my window at the large oak trees and pines that surround the house, enjoy a cup of tea or coffee in my favorite chair. I also walk my dog or spend time petting him and watch my cares go away.

So what do you do to restore yourself? Knowing some of the activities you can choose, helps you to select your options.A rest break, short or long,  can bring you energy and revitalize the rest of your day. 

Coping with the Unexpected

Are you in troubled waters? Has life thrown you a curve ball? Both of these are metaphors for unplanned and unexpected changes and pending life transitions.

Here are four ways to help you cope with the unexpected.

1)  Acknowledge you are going through a tough time.

2) Make a resolve to take care of your physical self. Eat well, continue or step up the exercise. Get plenty of sleep.

3) Be aware of your mental and emotional health. When times are tough we usually experience stress on an extreme level. This causes us to experience more emotions and creates more mental anxiety. Be willing to seek the advise of physical and mental health professionals to help you get you through theses trying times if you find you are not coping well.

4) Don't go it alone. Seek out friends and family to confide and communicate with. A transition coach can also be part of the assistance you may need to help you through this time. 

Look at What is Working in Your Life

When we are in the midst of change, we often think of the future as being the only place we want to be. Try instead to look at the simple things that are working in your life right now. There are almost certainly things that are going well and making your life comfortable and enjoyable. Sometime we have to dig a bit but it is worth taking a look.

Here are some elements we might want to think about:

• The current season
• The daily weather
• A good book to read
• Water that comes from a faucet
• A good friend to call
• A hot meal
• Lights that turn on at a flip of a switch
• A place to sleep
• A toothbrush to clean your teeth
• The sounds of early morning birds in your neighborhood
• A pair of comfy socks
• A piece of paper to write on
• A computer that allows you to visit the world from your desk

What might you want to add to this list? Think about what makes your daily life enjoyable and comfortable.  By paying attention to what is working in our life, we are more likely to adopt a positive attitude towards our future.

Sunshine Ahead

Summer is here. The sun is shining and everything is growing. Do you look at your life in terms of seasons or weather?

Sometimes we are growing and other times resting. Hotter weather might bring out your desires to relax, where as cold may make you want to busy about getting stuff done. The same concept can be applied to summer and winter. Are you a summer "rester" or summer "doer"?

Being Your Own Best Friend

This is a post repeated from last September 27, 2007 - but is well worth rereading any time your life gets hectic.


You can be your own best friend by:

Taking care of your mental, emotional and basic physical needs

Taking time out for yourself when you need it

Removing and extracting yourself from stress and overload

Being able to say no when you have had enough

Treating yourself as well as you treat others

Work on improving who you are on a daily basis

Asking for help and support from other friends when you need it

Being patient with yourself

Are You a Short-Timer?

Are you suffering from Short-Timer's Syndrome? This often happens when we are close to reaching our goal.

Originally, the term Short-Timers was applied to a syndrome observed in military soldiers who were about two to three months out from their rotation or returning home. I believe short-timer syndrome can apply to civilian and military life.

Senior Slump or Lame Duck is another way of terming this specialized short term but difficult condition. This syndrome is seen and observed in work, education or at the end of an association or officer leadership position.

Since we are almost three months from May and June, the common months of graduation and association term ends, it is a good time to take a deeper look at it. Short-timers often get burned out and are frazzled. This is because they have so much to do or accomplish in their limited time. However, short-timers  need to think about their future as much as they need to enjoy the present. This is a true time of transition and transitions are never easy. Being a short-timer is hard.

Review the following and see how you approach the end of a work project, educational assignment or association position.


At Work: 

When the contract or project is almost at the end  - 

a) I get focused and so preoccupied with the future, I don't focus well on today's project with full intent. 


b) I try to be all things to all people, so I can leave a lasting "legacy". I avoid thinking about the "day after" I finish. I will think about that later.

In an Association:

When my term is almost over - 

a) I begin to get the attitude of "I'll let the next person deal with it".

b) I work overly hard and start burning the candle at both ends. So much to do, so little time. I don't think about the future.



At the End of an Education Program:

When I am nearing the completion of my degree or educational program -

a) I find myself worrying about the future and I am not concentrating enough on the assignments and work I have left to do.

b) I start focusing too much on the now, and avoid thinking or doing anything in planning for my upcoming future.



What Can You Do if You Are a Short-Timer?

1) First determine what kind of short-timer you are?

2) Take a moment and view your end by the other perspective.

3) Consider hiring a transition or life coach to help you avoid burning the candle at both ends. The coach can provide some light and clarity to help you see clearer beyond the current assignment, and help you make a bright future, while still helping you focus on the now.


For Short-Timer's
 
Want to stay in the present? Consider hiring a transition or life coach to help guide you through these times.


For Family, Friends or Colleagues of Short-Timers

Consider giving your "short-timer" the early gift of a transition or life coaching package. This will help your short-timer shine through the end of their work and help them plan for their future.
  

You might also enjoy these posts - Eking It Out in The End 
Senior Year and Change.

This is a best of post of 2010.

At a Standstill

There are times when life is at a standstill - the ball not being our your court. Standstill is defined as
a state characterized by absence of motion or of progress. It is truly a time of waiting.and waiting is not always easy.

Practice Patience 
Practice patience by the day, hour or minute.

Focus on Other Things
By changing our focus we can hold off the waiting item. It no longer holds such a power over our mind.

Do Something Fun. 
Make cookies, listen to your favorite music, take a walk around your neighborhood.



While your project or life may be on a standstill, you don't have to be. Make this time a time of opportunities instead of a time of waiting.

Late Versus Early

Are you an owl or a lark? Knowing and accepting your natural tendencies can help you be more productive. Owls are night creatures and larks are those who take advantage of the early day and mornings. We are usually one or the other.

• Observe who you are - a lark or owl. Accept it and delight in your being. 

• Work to schedule your activities and tasks around your natural tendencies. Don't create unnecessary work for yourself by planning against your nature. 

• Understand and acknowledge the owl or lark tendencies of your friends and family members. Don't expect deep conversation from an owl early in the day, or late night discussions with a lark later in the day. Accept the morning or evening tendencies of your friends, co-workers and family. Learn to work with them by their style instead of trying to make them someone they are not.

By working with your true nature as well as others, you will be more incline to be the productive and accepting person you want to be.

Shoulds and Coulds - Time to Revisit

Last year, I wrote a post about shoulds and coulds - I think it is a good time of year to visit it again.  

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your shoulds and coulds

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.

2. Delve into the shoulds and coulds

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car


3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components.

4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about.

For Example:

I should have said  ..... instead of ......
I could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)

Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.

Opening The Door

One of my readers, recently commented privately to me, that "sometimes you need to open the door when you hit the wall".

"Opening the Door" means looking out at new options and opportunities. It can also mean taking a look outside for awhile and then deciding to step back to where you feel comfortable and at home. Sometimes it is nothing ventured, nothing gained. Then again, it can be a useful exercise to review and analyze where you are now.

Check out my earlier post on Hitting the Wall.

Hitting the Wall

Every once in a while we hit a wall in our life. Hitting the wall means we have reached an impasse without a "door" or "window". This is when we have to backtrack, change our attitude or stay within the confines of our current situation. However, staying within the confines of our restricted space for a prolonged time may not be beneficial for our mental health.


We can hit the wall due to employment limitations, current circle of friends, relationship changes, or even environmental limitations. Think people places or things! All of these three categories can contribute to hitting the wall.

Acknowledging that you have hit the wall is the first step. Being patience with yourself is critical at this time. Looking for alternative solutions may take longer than you hoped for. It may also be not the choice you want to choose, but one that is the best for you in the long run. Most importantly remember change takes time and is a challenge.

Preventing Short-Timer's Syndrome

Are you suffering from Short-Timer's Syndrome? This often happens when we are close to reaching our goal.

Originally, the term Short-Timers was applied to a syndrome observed in military soldiers who were about two to three months out from their rotation or returning home. I believe short-timer syndrome can apply to civilian and military life.

Senior Slump or Lame Duck is another way of terming this specialized short term but difficult condition. This syndrome is seen and observed in work, education or at the end of an association or officer leadership position.

Since we are almost two months from May and June, the common months of graduation and association term ends, it is a good time to take a deeper look at it. Short-timers often get burned out and are frazzled. This is because they have so much to do or accomplish in their limited time. However, short-timers  need to think about their future as much as they need to enjoy the present. This is a true time of transition and transitions are never easy. Being a short-timer is hard.

Review the following and see how you approach the end of a work project, educational assignment or association position.


At Work: 

When the contract or project is almost at the end  - 

a) I get focused and so preoccupied with the future, I don't focus well on today's project with full intent. 


b) I try to be all things to all people, so I can leave a lasting "legacy". I avoid thinking about the "day after" I finish. I will think about that later.

In an Association:

When my term is almost over - 

a) I begin to get the attitude of "I'll let the next person deal with it".

b) I work overly hard and start burning the candle at both ends. So much to do, so little time. I don't think about the future.



At the End of an Education Program:

When I am nearing the completion of my degree or educational program -

a) I find myself worrying about the future and I am not concentrating enough on the assignments and work I have left to do.

b) I start focusing too much on the now, and avoid thinking or doing anything in planning for my upcoming future.



What Can You Do if You Are a Short-Timer?

1) First determine what kind of short-timer you are?

2) Take a moment and view your end by the other perspective.

3) Consider hiring a transition or life coach to help you avoid burning the candle at both ends. The coach can provide some light and clarity to help you see clearer beyond the current assignment, and help you make a bright future, while still helping you focus on the now.


For Short-Timer's
 
Want to stay in the present? Consider hiring a transition or life coach to help guide you through these times.


For Family, Friends or Colleagues of Short-Timers

Consider giving your "short-timer" the early gift of a transition or life coaching package. This will help your short-timer shine through the end of their work and help them plan for their future.
  

You might also enjoy these posts - Eking It Out in The End 
Senior Year and Change.

Beneath the Surface - Growing Ideas

There are times when we may think nothing is happening. We are living a fallow life - in our rut, a big one. Yet, beneath the surface, we are germinating new thoughts, coming up with ideas, learning helpful skills and processes that will soon raise up and come forth in a new concept.

Here are some visual concepts to get you thinking:

• A coffee maker percolating, after a short while it will be ready.
• A bud unfurling on a tree in springtime.
• Underneath the ground a seed is breaking out of it's coat ready to grow.
• The dying embers of something else that will soon become a new steady flame.

What's happening beneath your surface?