Moving On

I recently came across a little paperback version of the book After The Move, Growing Roots in a New Community  by Judith Lechman.  This book published  by Lion in 1990 stands the test of time.

As someone who has moved over 20 times in my life, it really resonated about the mental aspects of moving. Moving requires physical strength and tenacity, but to me the most difficult part about moving is the mental part.

Judith's book discuses what she calls the 4 D's of moving. They are Being Disorientation, Being Disorganization, Being Discouraged and Being Disconnected.

Moving into a new home, creates disorientation. We have to learn a new floor plan, find new providers of services such as grocery stores, pharmacy and medical providers. All these are in locations unfamiliar to us, which means we have to learn how to get to and from our new home to theses new places.

When we move into a new home or apartment, we have to store our things usually in different places. This creates disorganization. Knowing that we have silverware is one thing, but knowing and familiarizing ourselves with the storage location is another.

Moving can be discouraging. We have to commit hours of unpacking and organizing of our stuff. We have to adjust to our new job, or community. Judith suggests we don't look at the whole picture, instead focus on one chore at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow, just focus on what needs to be done today.

When we move to a new community we are immediately disconnected. "Moving can be painfully lonely. It cuts us off from our past, isolates us from the present, and detaches us from the future." While this feeling is normal, we need to start to reach out within our new unity to expand our friendships and broaden our experiences. This happens best when we approach it with a positive attitude.

So if you are about to move, or have just moved. Take heart in understanding the "4 D's" and you will soon be feeling more at home in your new community.

 

Beyond The Goal

What happens when you reach your goal? While many Transition Your Life readers may not see the end or their destination at hand, I think discussing how one faces or handles this is of some importance.

When you reach your goal,  this is definitely when we need to first celebrate and savor in the moment of glory. This is something we should not miss.

Secondly, we need to appreciate what we or others did to help make the goal achievable. Very few journeys are journeys of one.  Sometimes upon reflection we realize others helped shape us and made contributions in ways we could not imagine. This might be the high school teacher, the motivational speaker, the neighbor down the road who always gave you a smile.

Thirdly, once the momentum of arrival and completion has slowed, I believe we need to ask ourselves some questions relating to the accomplishment of the goal. Making an immediate evaluation of what we have done has some value, but when the goal or achievement is monumental, I think taking a few weeks to ponder this might be the best choice.

Reaching your goal is a achievement which takes lots of effort and stamina. Give yourself some congratulations and savor your success.

This is a best of post

Smile More

Smiles are contagious. They can help you maintain a sunny disposition and also have the effect of making people respond to you in a positive rather than negative way.

We may forget to smile when we are in a hurry or at the end of the day when we are tired. It is hard to smile when we are sad, but when dealing with strangers and other people, a smile may help brighten the day and provide us a friendlier environment in which to communicate or work in. 

This is a best of post.

The Gift of Full Attention

In today's world of technology we often slide into the slippery slope of too much multitasking,  not enough granting of our full attention. Paying attention means consciously making good choices to focus solely on the task at hand.

Being a single-tasker can bring lots of pleasure to your day as well as prevent accidents, misunderstandings and mistakes.

Here is a list of things to consider not doing:

• Driving and talking on the cell phone
• Reading email and eating
• Playing with your children and talking on the phone
• Working with a client or on an assignment and checking email or text messages
• Reading emails while we are on the phone (other than while being "on hold" or collaborating on the e-mail)
• Walking the dog and talking on the cell phone

Being fully present in many of your daily actions is a gift. Give your gift of full attention to the things that count.


This is an earlier post from my other blog - Terrys Thinking. You might also enjoy my last post - Enjoy the Present!

Enjoy the Present

The present is today. Every day, find a way to enjoy something in each day. By focusing on the now, not the past or the future, you will be truly living.

Look at what is working.
Explore what makes you comfortable.
Examine and reflect on what is working in your life.
Remember what makes you smile.
Don't forget to laugh.

Enjoy your present. It's the best!

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is something we can practice all year-long. You can be grateful for people, places and things.

People Gratitude

Gratitude can be given to those who we work with, live with, play with or chance encounter. Gratitude does not have to  cost a thing. But it can be also given in the form of a note, email or token gift. I am grateful for my family, friends, clients  and colleagues. I am also grateful for the friendly staff at my local supermarket who brighten my day.


Places or Event Gratitude

If you have ever experienced joy in a specific location or at an event, you can be grateful just in the experience. Sometimes there are people to thank, other times it is just the connection of circumstances that can make you grateful for experiencing the moment. I am grateful for starry clear nights, my home, and recent family trip to Wyoming and the impromptu tailgate we had at a windy intersection.


Things or Object Gratitude

Some people make a list of the top  objects or things that make them happy. For me it is my comfortable chair, my atomic clock, my latest fiction book I am reading in the evening.

Take some time to think about who, what and where you are grateful. It is a great exercise to work on this time of the year.

Modified from Terry's Thinking Blog December 2010.

The Two Sides of Tears - Loss and Achievement

Have you ever stopped to wonder about tears? We can have tears of sorrow and tears of joy. When you experience someone’s tears did you ever stop to think you could be the cause of them in a positive or negative sense?

This quote by Suresh Advaithas expresses it very well.

The biggest loss in life  -  Tears in someone’s eyes because of you.
Biggest achievement in life  - Tears in someone’s eyes for you.

May you bring happy tears to those you know.

This is a best of post from Terry's Thinking, Terry Prince's other blog.  

Late Versus Early

Are you an owl or a lark? Knowing and accepting your natural tendencies can help you be more productive. Owls are night creatures and larks are those who take advantage of the early day and mornings. We are usually one or the other.

• Observe who you are - a lark or owl. Accept it and delight in your being. 

• Work to schedule your activities and tasks around your natural tendencies. Don't create unnecessary work for yourself by planning against your nature. 

• Understand and acknowledge the owl or lark tendencies of your friends and family members. Don't expect deep conversation from an owl early in the day, or late night discussions with a lark later in the day. Accept the morning or evening tendencies of your friends, co-workers and family. Learn to work with them by their style instead of trying to make them someone they are not.

By working with your true nature as well as others, you will be more incline to be the productive and accepting person you want to be.

Transition Your Life - Seniorhood

This is the fifth in the series of posts on transition times. Let's visit the transition periods that often occur in senior adulthood (age 70 - 90).

Transitioning to a smaller home or retirement living
Transitioning to grandchildren and great-grandchildren
Transitioning to loss of a loved one
Transitioning to patriarch or matriarch of family
Transitioning to retirement
Transitioning to part time or volunteer work
Transitioning to evolving spiritual or religious beliefs
Transitioning to a new or chronic health condition
Transitioning to caretaker role for adult child or grandchildren
Transitioning to having married children/grandchildren and in-law relationships
Transitioning to financial gain/financial loss
Transitioning to changing relationships with your children (adult to elderly parent)
Transitioning to common aging conditions (vision and mobility concerns)
Transitioning to family historian
Transitioning to new hobbies and changing interests

See also
Transition Your Life - Adulthood
Transition Your Life - Early Adulthood
Transition Your Life - Middle Age
Transition Your Life - Golden Age

Transition Your Life - Adulthood

This is the second in the series of posts on transition times. Let's visit the transition periods that often occur in adulthood (age 30 - 40).

Transitioning to having a child
Transitioning to having a teenager
Transitioning to accepting infertility
Transitioning to a new skill or hobby
Transitioning to the loss of parent(s) or loved ones
Transitioning to the loss of a relationship
Transitioning to a career change
Transitioning to new neighbors
Transitioning to having a chronic health condition
Transitioning to new home
Transitioning to job loss
Transitioning to evolving spiritual or religious beliefs
Transitioning to financial losses/financial gains
Transitioning to changing relationships with your parents (adult to adult)


Life is a journey, you don't have to go it alone. Having a transition coach can be the best decision and investment you can make.

See also Transition Your Life - Early Adulthood

Resizing Your World

When in transition we often shrink our daily contacts down to the less stressful, more peaceful ones. We do this for self protection and to also help make our days calmer. Going through transition takes peace, quiet and often solitude.

Transition is a time to try new things and acquaint ourselves with new people and new ideas. Finding new people isn't always that easy but often times this is when we go back to our roots and seek out those who meant something to us in terms of friendship and personal and professional development. This needs to be done selectively and carefully. Missteps are abound here if you don't set personal boundaries with yourself on this adventure.

Resizing your world takes time and careful thought. Sometimes it time to shrink the contact list and other times it is time to grow and expand the list.

Whatever time it is for you, take it careful and slow. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day.

Note: This is a repeat post of a 2007 post.

Reflections

Yesterday afternoon, my family was given an impromptu visit by a former neighbor, one we haven't seen in twelve years.

Nichole was the quiet but extremely intelligent and talented girl who lived three houses away. We knew she would find her way and she has. Nicole thanked us for being part of her childhood and we were delighted when she reminded us over tea and coffee of the things we did and said years ago.

We also shared our memories with her. I particularly remember the afternoon she received her first college acceptance (one of many) and her joyous cheer at the communal mailbox. I had been recently reminded of her as just one month ago, our youngest received her first college acceptance and experienced the same style of cheer in our own home.

The visit by Nicole was certainly one of the best surprise gifts of the season. Each of us have the ability to give little embers to each other, to inspire, encourage, warm and comfort. Let us all light little sparks in our neighbors and friends this upcoming year.

Joy, Friendship and Vacations

Today I am reflecting on being joyous. I have recently had some opportunities to reconnect with old friends from year's past. It is great to get an update on one's friends lives. I think you have to be in the right frame of mind to do this. For several months I purposefully procrastinated and did not return emails as I knew I truly wasn't in the right place to share or be fully present.

To get to the right place I now know I needed to turn a "state of mind" corner. This happened with a much needed vacation. A week by the beach really refreshed my mind and spirit. I now feel much more present and joyous. Even if you have few funds available this year, I encourage you to take some form of vacation from your usual life and improve your state of mind. It is amazing how time spent away from one's usual responsibilities can move us forward.

Being your own best friend

You can be your own best friend by:


Taking care of your mental, emotional and basic physical needs

Taking time out for yourself when you need it

Removing and extracting yourself from stress and overload

Being able to say no when you have had enough

Treating yourself as well as you treat others

Work on improving who you are on a daily basis

Asking for help and support from other friends when you need it

Being patience with yourself