Shoulds and Coulds - Time to Revisit

Last year, I wrote a post about shoulds and coulds - I think it is a good time of year to visit it again.  

Are you failing to listen to the should and the could's in your life? By transforming our shoulds into "do's" and "will"s we may accomplish many things.  However, sometimes our should and coulds are things we might want to avoid doing entirely.

1. Take a look at your shoulds and coulds

Spend some time over the next few days listening to your inner talk and your external communications. Take note of the number of times you express or think the word "Should" or "Could". If you have a high frequency of shoulds or coulds, (Perhaps 5+ a day) you may want to spend some "thinking, development and planning" time around them.

2. Delve into the shoulds and coulds

After you have listened to yourself over the last few days, you may find some frequent shoulds and coulds. Take time to jot them down in sentence form.

I should get more sleep at night
I wish I could keep my desk clear
We could buy a new car


3. Analyze your should and could's for future work and change.

Let's say you want to get more sleep. How can you go about making it come to fruition? By brainstorming you may come to some possilble solutions.

For example:  

I should get more sleep -  To get more sleep, go to bed earlier or stay in bed longer. The should becomes a will when you decide to go to sleep earlier or set your alarm for a later morning wake up.

We could buy a new car - Deciding to buy a new or different car, is a process and project. You may choose to get a new car when your current car reaches a certain mileage, or if maintenance fees exceed the cost of a monthly payment. Your new car might be more advantageous when you have to start driving to your new company's office (which is further away) to keep fuel costs down. A new car might make more sense after you have paid off other debts or saved a certain dollar amount. The could becomes more of a strategy and plan development when you look at the when and why components.

4. Transform your should and could's to wills, when's, why's or later decisions. If you formalize and bring these shoulds and coulds  to the next phase you will allow more space for things to happen.

5. Erase your negative should and could's from your mental and verbal vocabulary.  Sometimes we have stuck should and could's which can not be easily transformed into action or do not warrant further thought about.

For Example:

I should have said  ..... instead of ......
I could have read the directions three times and caught my mistake (after improperly assembling a complex piece of furniture)

Spend some time working on your should and could's and you will likely transform your life.

Starting Something New

It is not always easy starting something new. This comes about as I am actively telling myself that phrase, "it's not always easy to start something new". I am doing this about three times an hour, while I work at understanding a new email marketing newsletter program. I know I need to make some positive self talk phrases instead. So that would be the fifth strategy when working on something new.

1. Work in scheduled bursts
2. Take planned breaks 
3. Incorporate more humor into your schedule
4. Make sure you get some regular physical exercise
5. Use positive self talk - Avoid negative self talk

Do you have some strategies to make starting something new easier?

Hot or Cold?

When examining your life you can measure your progress towards your goals in a number of ways. Today let's consider using hot and cold. Since we are in the season of neither summer or winter (in any hemisphere) I think we can address this in a temperature model.

Let's think of "hot" as being something you gravitate towards, and "cold" being something you want to leave or escape from.
 
What do you have going on that you feel "hot" about? Conversely what do you feel "cool" about? By gauging your temperature towards an activity or event you may make choices that move you closer towards your future goals.   

Getting In The Flow

Achieving flow? What does that mean to you? To me it means gaining momentum, getting beyond the beginning and feeling content where you are. Being in the flow is what makes projects and pursuits satisfying and enjoyable.

There are two ways to look at your complex tasks. It is a potential flow activity or is it a non-flow activity?  Knowing what types of projects have "flow" in your life is a beginning. Conversely, knowing what projects or efforts are usually non flowing may aid you in accepting the lack of flow.By acknowledging your activities this way, you can begin to shape and design flow diversity to your day or week.

On occasion your frequent flow activities may wane. This could be due to a block or external factors influencing your ability to achieve normal achievement or processes. Writer's block is a good example of when the "flow" goes astray.  Getting back into the flow is a topic for another post. Stay tuned.

Blank Books

Have you ever considered journal keeping or maintaining a notebook of ideas?

There are lots of "blank books" available to purchase and utilize as the keeper of your memories, dreams or aspirations. Using a book instead of a computer may be beneficial for those who process their thoughts while writing. The blank book is portable and does not need power or a battery to sustain itself. The "blank book" can be a great escape after spending hours at the computer screen. 

The Stuff That You Own

I have been thinking about stuff, getting prepared for my upcoming NSGCD teleclass. While some chronically disorganized people are likely to have an emotional attachment to their belongings and would find this exercise very difficult, those with normal organizational abilities might find it useful or thought provoking.  

One could use the categorizing concept of Hot or Cold - hot being more inclined to using or wanting it. Cold being more likely to be discarded.  You could also use the Love it,  Hate it approach. Loving it being a keep and hate it a toss. Another option would be the Numbers 1 - 5. One (1) being a keep it, and five (5) being a toss it. 


Those mid-value "warms" and "3's" are likely to be difficult, but to take it further - would they be among your take with you items if you left your environment due to an impending flood or raging wildfire approaching your neighborhood? 

Many years ago I read the story by T. Coraghessan Boyle (T C Boyles) - Filthy with Things. The New Yorker (February 15, 1993): 76-87., where a woman came in and worked to declutter a fully packed household  - and declared that her client's needed to clear out their home, get it inventoried and could only have 100 things brought back in.

What would your 100 "stuff" things be?

Would they be practical or creative?


Practical List
Bed
Table
4 chairs
2 Arm chair
2 Ottoman

Creative List

4 loved works of art
1 guitar
1 bottle of favorite perfume
5 favorite books

or would you put together a mix of both?

September - Green and Growing

Many years ago, a mentor of mine gave me a plant and said "Keep Green and Growing". This advice seems to speak to me especially at the start of each September. September, after all, is the month of sharpened pencils, fresh notebooks and the fresh start drive to learn something new.

Make education a part of your life by reading, exploring new ideas and trends. Sharpen your writing skills by evaluating your past written materials. Can you upgrade your writing or be more concise? Evaluation is as much a part of learning as is exploring new things.

This September, I plan to be learning more about how we acquire, hold on to stuff and let go of stuff. This is part of my getting prepared for a presentation in October on The Possession Cycle.

What are you planning on learning this month?


This is a revisit of a September 2007 post.